IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people are working at home rather than work places. Some people believe this will bring benefits to the workers and their families but other suggest it will cause stress in the home rather than work place. Discuss both views and give your opinion

In the modern era, working from home is acceptable and some organisations allow their workers to choose where they want to do their tasks. It is believed that remote working can provide flexibility to employees but some argue that working anywhere except the workplace can burn them out. To be honest, I strongly believe that each opinion has pros and cons,
therefore
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 we can pick our preferences based on priority. On the one hand, remote
work
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 saves
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
 especially for someone who has a family, allowing the worker to balance their hour between
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 and personal life.
In addition
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, they can reduce their expenses and time spent on commutes, which can reduce stress and increase productivity. The employer
also
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 should be aware of the mental state of their employees,
therefore
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 unrestricted workplace hopefully diminishes the feeling of isolation.
On the other hand
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, some individuals may find it difficult to separate
work
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 tasks from home responsibilities, making the
work
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 time inefficient or hard to switch off and relax.
Furthermore
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, as social beings, the lack of interaction with colleagues can lead to loneliness and affect mental health negatively.
For instance
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,
although
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 the internet allows us to connect to each other, having a conversation in real life feels different because we can see their expression and easier for us to explain things.
To sum up
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, both working from the office and home have different benefits and easiness to offer for human beings.
Work
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-life balance and savings are achievable when employees have the opportunity to
work
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 wherever,
whereas
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 coming to the office during working hours helps labourer increase their productivity and gives them space to socialise.

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task achievement
Your introduction is clear and presents both views well, but try to give a stronger personal opinion. It will help your readers understand your position better.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea. Your second paragraph discusses benefits well, but make it clearer how they connect to your main idea.
task achievement
Add more specific examples or details to support your points. This can make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
You did a great job presenting both sides of the argument, which shows good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion nicely summarizes the main points and gives a balanced view of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • benefits
  • workers
  • family
  • stress
  • home
  • place
  • flexibility
  • schedules
  • balance
  • commute
  • productivity
  • isolation
  • life
  • responsibilities
  • interaction
  • colleagues
  • loneliness
  • mental health
  • increase
  • reduce
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