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Band 6.5

In some countries tv programmes are transmitted throughout the day and night . Some people think that 24 hour transmission has positive impacts , while others believe it is negative. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#countries #tv #programmes #night #people #hour #transmission #impacts
Television broadcasting is one of the major sources of information and entertainment. Whether its effects on people are positive or negative is a matter of discussion,
this
 essay will discuss
both
 views before stating my opinion . Programmes on TV are generally two types ,which are informative or entertaining. Informative sections include news , educative documentaries and so on
whereas
 entertainment includes movies, songs comedy series and so on .
Therefore
 viewers
are benefited
Wrong verb form
benefit
show examples
 in
both
 ways.
Moreover
, it is one of the cheapest and easiest ways of amusement , which helps to view in comforts of their own homes.To add on, as it is transmitting whole day it severs many choices for the public on selection of content and time of their comfortability.
On the contrary
, many others argued that television transmission should be regulated to a certain hour , as it leads to a waste of time for
both
 youngsters and elders .
For instance
, school-going children are attracted to their popular cartoons all day and get distracted and not interested
to go
Change preposition
in going
show examples
 to school .
Similarly
, sports lovers are very enthusiastic about live matches and are stuck in front of televisions .
Hence
 it affects the productivity of society and leads to a decreased outcome. To summarize , after evaluating
both
 views , I strongly believe that TV programmes are not only a great source of information and entertainment for the public but
also
 it's a million-dollar Revenue generation industry too .
Therefore
 restricting broadcasting hours is not a positive development, which in turn brings society into a lack of information and income .
Submitted by arun.b.143 on

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coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion could be strengthened with more specific details or a clear thesis statement.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is logically connected and builds upon the previous one to enhance coherence.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to further support your main points and strengthen your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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