IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilt of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#murderers #death #penalty #society #guilt #murder #life #prison #punishment
Killing a defendant as a punishment is still facing plenty of pros and cons. Recently, the number of death penalty considerably decreased. I totally agree that prison is better than murder and I will give an elucidation in
this
 essay.
First,
everyone deserves forgiveness, regardless of the fault that they did. With
the
Correct article usage
apply
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amnesty, they probably will change and correct their faults.
However
, the main goal of punishment is to change
peoples’
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people’s
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 habits. After being imprisoned, people ideally get
the
Correct article usage
a
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 second chance to be
a
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apply
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good
member
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members
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 of society. How would people fix their
trait
Fix the agreement mistake
traits
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 if they were killed?
Second,
it should not be forgotten that ending
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
persons’
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person’s
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 life is a remarkable problem as well.
This
 is extremely opposite
with
Change preposition
to
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 the human rights that deployed in our civilization in the
last
 few centuries. In order to respect human rights, the state has to respect human life as well.
In addition
, assassination is entirely
opposite
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the opposite
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with
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of
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 the democratization process. It could be argued that the folk
afraid
Add a missing verb
are afraid
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 country will use
the
Correct article usage
apply
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legalized killing to press its oppositional group. In several autocratic states,
for example
, the supreme leader easily demolishes his or her political enemy.
Instead
 of being used to uphold justice among inhabitants, executing the defendant undoubtedly can be used for another negative purpose.
This
 type of sentence has an abundance of risk.
To sum up
, I think that the death penalty is too risky. With
this
 punishment, we not only can not give forgiveness and a second chance to the offender
,
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apply
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 but
also
 defy human rights and human dignity.
Submitted by sakinah.snr on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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