New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#technologies #children #time #trend

It is true that

children

spend much of their

time

playing with the

last

technology devices.

While

some people argue that there are many negative benefits of

this

trend, I would argue that the advantages more than compensate for any disadvantages. On the one hand, there are two serious drawbacks when

children

waste their

time

playing video games or using the Internet.

Firstly

, those habits lead

children

to less communication and become a sedentary lifestyle, which those games encourage.

This

means that

children

do not have

time

to do exercises that are necessary for adequate development and make interaction with other people.

Secondly

, spending much of their spare

time

on their computer or mobile phones is another reason that causes health problems for youngsters.

For example

, if they keep their eyes glued to the screen and consoles for hours on end, they may suffer symptoms of poor vision.

On the other hand

, I support the view of those who believe that the benefits are more significant than

such

disadvantages. The most one is that

children

now have a range of choices to enjoy their free

time

rather than

the

Change preposition

in the

show examples

past. In

this

case, the new technologies enable

children

to broaden their knowledge through interactive software.

For instance

children

may expand their understanding of wildlife by watching the animal world channel

instead

of updating information through radio or traditional newspapers. Another consideration is that the Internet not only provides

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

countless useful material with few clicks,

Correct word choice

but it

show examples

also

supports

children

discover

Fix the infinitive

to discover

show examples

friends in any part of the world by using chat rooms and social networks

such

as Facebook or Tweet.

As a result

, the new technologies both enhance

children

’s self-study and promote young people to develop a wide circle of virtual friends. In conclusion, I argue that the advantages of

this

trend are more crucial than the disadvantages.

Submitted by moxinurabjalilova on Thu Jun 08 2023

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

307 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Include an introduction and conclusion

As well as making money, businesses also have responsibilities. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

By punishing murderers with the death penalty, society is also guilt of committing murder. Therefore, life in prison is a better punishment for murderers. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In some countries, companies allow people to work from home. In others, people are still expected to work in an office. Discuss both views

People believe that not all school children have the natural ability to learn a new language. This means is not right to force all school children to study a foreign language. Do you agree or disagree ?

Some people think that only way to judge someone's success in business is by the amount of money they make. Is money a true indicator of success of a business? In what other ways could success in a business be measured?