IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

The graph shows the number of boys and girls playiing sport in an english city town in 2012

The graph shows the number of boys and girls playiing sport in an english city town in 2012
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart given illustrates the various
number
Use synonyms
 of sports (tennis, badminton, cycling, swimming,
football
Use synonyms
 and hockey) played by men and
women
Use synonyms
 in an English city in 2012. In general, tennis, cycling,
football
Use synonyms
 and hockey were the most popular games played by
boys
Use synonyms
 in English
while
Linking Words
 badminton
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and swimming were far more adored by
girls
Use synonyms
. Turning to the detail, it is evident that the
number
Use synonyms
 of
boys
Use synonyms
 was played tennis (50 )
people
Use synonyms
 bigger than the
women
Use synonyms
 at about 35
people
Use synonyms
.
Likewise
Linking Words
, cycling and hockey had a gap
number
Use synonyms
 of
people
Use synonyms
 between gender
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girls
Use synonyms
 approximately 15 and 5
people
Use synonyms
 respectively.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
football
Use synonyms
 showed a significant change in terms of hobbies between
boys
Use synonyms
 and
girls
Use synonyms
 and the
number
Use synonyms
 of
boys
Use synonyms
 who played
football
Use synonyms
 (60)
people
Use synonyms
 were just over half that of
women
Use synonyms
 at about 20
people
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, swimming was dominated by
women
Use synonyms
 at about 50
people
Use synonyms
 than men at only 40
people
Use synonyms
. Like swimming, Badminton which the second game more liked by
girls
Use synonyms
 in downtown English at about 40
people
Use synonyms
 compared to
boys
Use synonyms
 just only 30
people
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Vocabulary: Replace the words number, football, women, boys, girls, people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: