Some people think that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education, whereas others say this is no longer true. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some individuals believe that the great method to achieve
success
in professional and personal life is to complete the
tertiary Correct article usage
apply
education
, and others think that
Correct word choice
apply
otherwise
. In my opinion, studying higher education
is better
gate to accomplish Add an article
the better
a better
successful
in life.
Replace the word
success
On the other hand
, there are many reasons why some members of society hold idea
that engaging in Add an article
the idea
job
market after Add an article
the job
finish
high school Change the verb form
finishing
is leads
to Change the verb form
leads
achieve
Wrong verb form
achieving
success
. Firstly
, people who decide to work
immediately after high school can gain real experience rather academic
Change preposition
than academic
onces
, which helps them to become successful. Correct your spelling
once
ones
ounces
This
is because, people who have real experience are more likely to aquire
development opportunities likeCorrect your spelling
acquire
,
Remove the comma
apply
promotion
, Fix the agreement mistake
promotions
high
salaries. Correct word choice
and high
Secondly
, there are several famous businessmena
who become successful without Correct your spelling
businessmen
businessman
Correct article usage
a univertiy
univertiy
Correct your spelling
university
degree
. For example
, Steve Jobs founded the most successful company Apple, although
he do
not have Wrong verb form
did
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
education
.
On the other hand
, I agree with those who believe the
Correct your spelling
that
earn
Replace the word
earning
university
Correct article usage
a university
degree
is road
Add an article
the road
a road
for
Change preposition
to
success
. To being
with, it is impossible to become Verb problem
begin
Correct article usage
a dotcor
dotcor
, lawyer, Correct your spelling
doctor
engineer
without higher Add an article
an engineer
eudcation
. To put Correct your spelling
education
in
other words,Correct pronoun usage
it in
Correct determiner usage
these
this
occupations usually are more likely to better
Add a missing verb
have better
jobs
development Change the noun form
job
opportuntiies
, Correct your spelling
opportunities
high
wages, which means they can become Correct word choice
and high
success
. Replace the word
successful
Secondly
, the
most Correct article usage
apply
of
successful scientists who Change preposition
apply
work
in research centers hold university degree
. Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
For instance
, researchers who work
in order in
find new drugs for diseases or Change preposition
to
work
to fight climate change and global warming. This
indicate
to importance of tertiary Change the verb form
indicates
education
.
To sum up
, in my perspective, university
Add an article
a university
degree
is better
way to accomplish, Add an article
a better
the better
this
because people who have higher edcation
are more likely to have Correct your spelling
education
better
Correct article usage
a better
fututr
career and provide valuable services to society Correct your spelling
future
such
fight complex issues, diseases, climate change as well global warming.Submitted by faiz3177 on
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task response
Task Response: Ensure to fully address all aspects of the essay prompt, providing balanced arguments for both views and clearly stating your own opinion.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: Work on organizing your ideas more effectively to improve the overall flow of the essay. Use transition words and phrases to connect your ideas smoothly and logically.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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