Some people think that hard working and determination are the key factors for being successful in the life, other people feel that other factors are important. Discuss both sides, what is your opinion?

#people #determination #factors #life

Every person dreams to be successful in his or her career. So, there are individuals who believe that Hard work and determination will lead to a better life. At the same time, there are people who oppose

this

concept they claim that there are several factors beyond it.

However

, I too support

this

. In

this

essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument. On the one hand, there are educated individuals from the middle class and lower class who are still unemployed. Even though they are a. Hardworking. In

this

contemporary world, skilled people are rejected in many fields. Not even a single person who bothers about their struggles.

For example

, In many interviews, there are candidates from different backgrounds.

However

, the results are already fixed and they are just conducting interviews for their sake.

Although

, candidates who are ready to give bribes will be the apt person for the job.

Moreover

, In many schools and colleges management gives more importance to management quotas than marks.

Therefore

it is clear that

hard work and determined people are not valued.

Instead

,influential ones are honoured.

On the other hand

, nepotism has a huge influence on the society.

As a result

, respect is given on the basis of family backgrounds.

For instance

, an individual from a rich business family is sure to get a job.

Likewise

, in the political field after the death of the

leader

Add a comma

,leader

show examples

his position is given to his son Or daughter.

Thus

, a

deserved

Replace the word

deserving

show examples

candidate is denied. The same happens in the educational field students with good marks are not getting admission

Change preposition

show examples

their desired colleges. In conclusion, there are many factors behind success. Unfortunately, determination and hard work have no role in it. Everything depends on family background.

Submitted by ameeshaaa19 on Fri Jun 09 2023

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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13Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

291 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that hard working and determination are the key factors for being successful in the life, other people feel that other factors are important. Discuss both sides, what is your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In many countries, small shops are closing. Give your reasons about this. Is it positive or negative? Give examples from your knowledge and experience.

You recently went on holiday and your friend lent you a travel guidebook. Write a letter to friend. In your letter: - tell your friend about the holiday - explain how the guidebook was helpful - say when and how you will return the guidebook

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a positive or negative situation?

It is more important to spend public money on promoting a healthy lifestyle in order to prevent illness than to spend it on the treatment of people who are already ill. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Television cannot replace the book as a learning tool, which is why children are less well-educated today. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?