Some people think that hard working and determination are the key factors for being successful in the life, other people feel that other factors are important. Discuss both sides, what is your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Every person dreams to be successful in his or her career. So, there are individuals who believe that Hard work and determination will lead to a better life. At the same time, there are people who oppose

this

Linking Words

concept they claim that there are several factors beyond it.

However

Linking Words

, I too support

this

Linking Words

. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will discuss both sides of the argument. On the one hand, there are educated individuals from the middle class and lower class who are still unemployed. Even though they are a. Hardworking. In

this

Linking Words

contemporary world, skilled people are rejected in many fields. Not even a single person who bothers about their struggles.

For example

Linking Words

, In many interviews, there are candidates from different backgrounds.

However

Linking Words

, the results are already fixed and they are just conducting interviews for their sake.

Although

Linking Words

, candidates who are ready to give bribes will be the apt person for the job.

Moreover

Linking Words

, In many schools and colleges management gives more importance to management quotas than marks.

Therefore

Linking Words

it is clear that

Linking Words

hard work and determined people are not valued.

Instead

Linking Words

,influential ones are honoured.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, nepotism has a huge influence on the society.

As a result

Linking Words

, respect is given on the basis of family backgrounds.

For instance

Linking Words

, an individual from a rich business family is sure to get a job.

Likewise

Linking Words

, in the political field after the death of the

leader

Add a comma

,leader

show examples

his position is given to his son Or daughter.

Thus

Linking Words

, a

deserved

Replace the word

deserving

show examples

candidate is denied. The same happens in the educational field students with good marks are not getting admission

Change preposition

show examples

their desired colleges. In conclusion, there are many factors behind success. Unfortunately, determination and hard work have no role in it. Everything depends on family background.

Submitted by ameeshaaa19 on Fri Jun 09 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

291 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

perseverance
skill development
overcoming obstacles
social connections
economic background
grit
entrepreneurs
existing connections
industries
career paths
balanced perspective

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Nowadays longer distances are travelled by people to work and study on a daily basis. Some consider it to be a negative development, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
The human population growth has been experienced by almost all countries since the beginning of 20th century. As a result, residential areas are being developed further from the business district where most offices located. This inherently creates issues such as increased travel time and pollutions. On the other hand, some believe that living in a home further from workplace gives an opportunity to wind down after long hours of hardwork. This essay explains both views of having to travel longer distance to work and study as a routine.
6.5
band
Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
It is argued that music is a nice method for bringing individuals of different cultural backgrounds and ages together. I strongly agree with the idea because tunes are timeless and are able to prompt people to learn about other cultures.
8
band
write a referral letter to an endocrinologist
I am writing to refer Ms Tabtha Taborlin, a 45- year-old patient, who is a poor control type one diabetes with intermittent diabetic ketoacidosis (DKA). She requires your assessment and management for the rigid glycemic control and insulin pump insertion as you deem appropriate.
7
band
Band-9 Samples: In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
In contemporary society, a prevalent trend in marketing campaigns is the accentuation of a product’s novelty. This essay aims to explore the rationale behind this phenomenon and argues that it is largely a negative development.
5
band
Some people think that high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while other think that good working atmosphere is more important, Discuss both views and state your opinion.
In the contemporary era, the demands and expectations placed upon individuals and societies have escalated , driven by rapid technological advancement and global interconnectedness . There is a contradiction over the society whilst some are claiming that , a job is aways depends on the wage, others contend the notion that, it should decided according to the workplace environment. Both the above opinions and my stance in favour of the former view, along with the relevant justifications will be discussed in the following paragraphs .

Some people think that hard working and determination are the key factors for being successful in the life, other people feel that other factors are important. Discuss both sides, what is your opinion?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Nowadays longer distances are travelled by people to work and study on a daily basis. Some consider it to be a negative development, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

write a referral letter to an endocrinologist

Band-9 Samples: In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while other think that good working atmosphere is more important, Discuss both views and state your opinion.