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Band 7.5

Some people think that children should be taken in control by their parents while others argue that they need to learn to be independent. Discuss both views and give you opinion

#people #children #control #parents
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Debate that how children should learn or live is increasing every day.Some folks of society suggest that toddlers should be taken into control by their mothers and fathers,
however
, others think that they should learn by themselves.I agree with the second statement.
This
 essay will discuss both viewpoints in the upcoming paragraphs. To start with,toddlers living under supervision might live a safe life.Having controlling parents will help their children to avoid drugs as it is the time when adolescents get influenced by others to take drugs.
For example
,a report published by BBC News depicted that up to 90% of teenagers got involved in drugs whose parents did not interfere in their life.
Besides
,teenagers will not have financial pressure because their experienced fathers will suggest to them to avoid mistakes they did in their carrier.
As a result
,children will have risk-free options.
On the other hand
,independent learning might give kids various options globally.
Although
 primary caregivers have a lot of experience in life yet they are not familiar with new technology;
thus
,independent learning may provide kids with numerous options in regard to their carrier;
consequently
,chances of getting rich will be higher.
Apart from
this
,if given control to father to choose what they expect their child to become
then
 they will be pressurised to choose from limited old-school jobs;
hence
 teenagers will get depressed.
To sum up
,both sides have their pros and cons but freedom given to the new generation will be proven handy,
therefore
,I do not support the idea of controlled learning as the advantages of
this
 approach do not overweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by aroraanmol890 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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