IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #support #artists #painters #musicians #alternative #sources
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Some individuals believe that states should allocate funding in order to
support
Use synonyms
arts
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 painters, musicians, and others think
otherwise
Linking Words
. In my opinion, the authorities should focus on funding crucial infrastructure
as well as
Linking Words
 environmental issues
instead
Linking Words
 of supporting
Use synonyms
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
. On the one hand, some members of society hold idea that the governments should provide
support
Use synonyms
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
. They believe the artists play a significant role to educate people worldwide about our culture
as well as
Linking Words
 heritage.
In other words
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can attract many tourists from
global
Change the word
globally
show examples
 to see
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
this art
these arts
show examples
arts
Use synonyms
.
For example
Linking Words
, numerous people travel overseas in order to attend Opera performances.
As a result
Linking Words
,
arts
Use synonyms
 can
conutribute
Correct your spelling
contribute
 to
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
 of
country
Add an article
the country
a country
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
 is because tourists will a spend considerable amount of
money
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 hotels, museums,
attending
Correct word choice
and attending
show examples
 music performances.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I agree with those who argue that
arts
Use synonyms
 should
support
Use synonyms
 themselves and the government should spend the funds
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 vital services.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the
arts
Use synonyms
 namely , painters,and musicians should earn their
money
Use synonyms
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
sell
Wrong verb form
selling
show examples
 their works rather than
depend
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
 on the governments.
For instance
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
musicians can acquire
money
Use synonyms
 from sell
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tickets
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
music performances
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 audiences.
Secondly
Linking Words
 , the governments should spend
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 funds to improve infrastructure
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
eudcation
Correct your spelling
education
, healthcare,
public
Correct word choice
and public
show examples
 transport
instead
Linking Words
 of
waste
Replace the word
wasting
show examples
money
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
arts
Correct article usage
the arts
show examples
.
Futhermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming and climate change is the biggest issue
threat
Replace the word
threatening
show examples
 our life.
Therefore
Linking Words
, is better to
funding
Replace the word
fund
show examples
 projects to protect our ecosystem than
funding
Wrong verb form
fund
show examples
arts
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I totally agree that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lawmakers should not provide financial
support
Use synonyms
the
Change preposition
for the
show examples
 creative
arts
Use synonyms
, and should allocate
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 funds to enhance the infrastructure
as well as
Linking Words
 protect the ecosystem.
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I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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