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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Otherhowever, think that there are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.s,

#people #parties #birthday #celebrations #waste #money #otherhowever #individuals #society
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People
Use synonyms
 like organising
parties
Use synonyms
 for different purposes, especially on special occasions.
While
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 some may think that celebration is so important to individuals and the community, some may argue that it is not worthwhile to buy the decorations. From my point of view, it is reasonable for
people
Use synonyms
 to hold
parties
Use synonyms
 for celebrations. Apparently, there are some supporting arguments for having
parties
Use synonyms
 on particular occasions. First of all, it helps to create collective memories for family and friends,
for
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example
Add a comma
example,
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 it is memorable to cheer for an 18th birthday in Asia, which indicates that the person is turning into an adult.
Thus
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, precious memories can become a connection between different relationships.
Besides
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, special events actually promote cultural heritage, particularly for interventional festivals. An illustrative example is that during
Lunar
Correct article usage
the Lunar
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 New Year, the Chinese like to decorate their houses with red packets, which represent luck and fortune.
Lastly
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,
parties
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 provide a valuable opportunity for family gatherings so
people
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 are more likely to enhance their intimacy through these kinds of events.
As a result
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, the social bondings between the community are leveraged.
However
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, spending too much money on decorating may
also
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 bring detrimental effects.
It is clear that
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 a lot of decorations are disposable and for single-use so
people
Use synonyms
 are trapped in a cycle of buying new displays annually.
For instance
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, if a birthday sign is specifically for the 18th birthday, it cannot be reused in the next year as the age will be different from before. Apart from the above argument, the ornaments are only designed for short-term use as most of the time, they may be shown for a few weeks and
then
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 kept
in
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on
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 a shelf for a year.
Therefore
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, decorations are not cost-effective if their uses are limited by special occasions. In conclusion, even though the expenditure on purchasing the party’s tools may not be worthwhile, I still believe that the unforgettable memories created by them are priceless.
Also
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, I think holding a reasonable number of gatherings can help monitor the amount of money spent.
Submitted by ariel03lee on

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task response
Provide a more balanced view of both perspectives
coherence and cohesion
Ensure better flow of ideas and logical connection between paragraphs
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