Only governments can handle environmental problems as they are too great to be managed at individual level. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

At present, the environment is the biggest issue in
this
world. The earth is affected, because of rampant global warming. Some say that only
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
can take action individually to solve the environmental problem. I believe that both the
government
and the
people
together can handle
this
current situation. Every country wants to develop in terms of construction and technology for easy life. Because of
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
buildings and highways, there has been
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
deforestation which directly affects on weather.
Moreover
,
people
have been using automobiles which cause
thousands
Add the preposition
thousands of
show examples
tons of pollution which affect on globe. Only the
government
can take a step to solve
this
problem.
For instance
, most
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
countries are connected in G20, different countries can get together in meetings where they can implement
law
Fix the agreement mistake
laws
show examples
and regulations about cutting
trees
and make a plan for forestation.
However
, individual nations should limit in use
Change preposition
of vehicle
show examples
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
show examples
and construction.
People
can be motivated by positive advertising where, the
government
can talk about planting more
trees
, using recycled materials and avoiding using plastic bags. Because
people
are the main reason for global warming, they can help
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
to handle
this
situation. As a citizen of the country, it is a duty and responsibility to take care of the nation, where
people
can follow the rules and laws of a particular country and
can
Verb problem
apply
show examples
help the nation to grow.
For example
, if the
government
impose
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
law
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
limit
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
using fewer cars and having only one or two houses per person, not using plastic bags,
then
people
should follow these rules for a better future generation.
People
can take
a
Change the article
an
show examples
oath
of planting
Change preposition
to plant
show examples
trees
on their special day which can grow
thousand
Fix the agreement mistake
thousands
show examples
of
trees
and having more
trees
mean
Correct subject-verb agreement
means
show examples
good weather. Because
what
Change preposition
of what
show examples
we are doing our
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
generation
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
, we can teach our children to respect
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature which
lead
Change the verb form
leads
show examples
them to think about
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
. In conclusion, because
globe
Correct article usage
the globe
show examples
geeting
Correct your spelling
getting
more hot
Correct word choice
hotter
show examples
and melting
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
snow
mountain
Fix the agreement mistake
mountains
show examples
, the issue can be solved by both
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
and
people
Correct article usage
the people
show examples
of the world together where nations can make rules which individuals should follow.
Submitted by ap064911 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance the coherence and logical flow, consider using clearer transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Linking phrases and words can significantly improve readability.
Task Achievement
Strengthen your argument by including more specific examples and detailed explanations. This will add depth to your essay and make your points more convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Pay attention to common grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Careful proofreading can help eliminate these issues and improve overall clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your argument effectively.
Task Achievement
You have presented a balanced view, acknowledging the roles of both the government and individuals in addressing environmental issues, which adds depth to your response.
Task Achievement
The ideas are generally clear and comprehensive, addressing the prompt satisfactorily.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • collective impact
  • environmentally friendly
  • enact
  • enforce
  • regulations
  • international cooperation
  • non-governmental organizations
  • conservation efforts
  • policy changes
  • sustainable technologies
  • incentives
  • corporate behavior
  • climate change
  • air pollution
What to do next:
Look at other essays: