It is necessary for parents to attend a parenting training course to bring their children up. Do you agree or disagree?

#parents #course #children

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Some people argue that

parents

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should participate in parenting

education

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courses to raise their

children

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. I agree with

this

Linking Words

topic. In the following essay, I will discuss the reasons why I agree with examples.

First,

Linking Words

parents

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can hear advice and experience about parenting from experts. To be specific, not only

parents

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could receive

necessary

Correct article usage

the necessary

show examples

education

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in parenting

children

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but

also

Linking Words

parenting

education

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courses provide

parents

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with

necessary

Correct article usage

the necessary

show examples

information

parenting

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about parenting

show examples

their

children

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Such

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education

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enhances

parent’s

Fix the agreement mistake

parents’

show examples

parenting skills, and

Add an article

the relationship

show examples

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

between

parents

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and their

children

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are

Change the word

apply

show examples

healthier and make

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

influence.

For example

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, my sister bought parenting books as her baby was born and studied on Youtube,but she felt lonely. As she participated in parenting

education

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courses, she could gain knowledge about parenting.

As a result

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, she built

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

relationship with her child and could gain more confidence as

parents

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Second,

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parents

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can relieve

anxiety

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about parenting. Parenting

children

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is very important and be burdensome. Especially, the first child

occur

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occurs

show examples

for

parents

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anxiety

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and worry. In

this

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regard, parenting

education

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curriculum

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curricula

show examples

relieve

such

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anxiety

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and grow confidence. From

experience

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the experience

show examples

of my friend, she always suffered

anxiety

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and worry about parenting. She could not be certain whether her parenting is

Add an article

the

show examples

right way during raising the first child. One day, she was recommended parenting

education

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from

Change preposition

show examples

other friend

Change the wording

another friend

other friends

show examples

. Through the classes, she learned

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

parenting method and she could relieve

anxiety

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about parenting.

Finally

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, she was able to become healthy and happy growth with their

children

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. In conclusion, I agree with the statement because

parents

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listen to expert’s

experience

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experiences

show examples

and advice and reduce worry about parenting.

Submitted by yup on Sat Jun 10 2023

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

264 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

parenting training
child-rearing
valuable guidance
effective techniques
child development
psychology

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Some people think it is the government’s responsibility to tackle environmental issues. Others believe it is up to each individual to be environmentally responsible. Discuss both sides of this argument and then give your own opinion.

Nowadays, lots of household waste is a problem. What is the cause of this problem and how can we solve the issue?

It has been said, “Not everything that is learned is contained in books.” Compare and contrast knowledge gained from experience with knowledge gaied from books. In your opinion, which source is more important and why?

ln many parts of the world, children orc given more freedom than in the past. ls this a positive or o negative development?

Some people think that they can be fit by going to gym, while others think there are other better way to remain fit. Discuss both views and give your opinion.