It is necessary for parents to attend a parenting training course to bring their children up. Do you agree or disagree?

#parents #course #children

Some people argue that

parents

should participate in parenting

education

courses to raise their

children

. I agree with

this

topic. In the following essay, I will discuss the reasons why I agree with examples.

First,

parents

can hear advice and experience about parenting from experts. To be specific, not only

parents

could receive

necessary

Correct article usage

the necessary

show examples

education

in parenting

children

but

also

parenting

education

courses provide

parents

with

necessary

Correct article usage

the necessary

show examples

information

parenting

Change preposition

about parenting

show examples

their

children

Such

education

enhances

parent’s

Fix the agreement mistake

parents’

show examples

parenting skills, and

Add an article

the relationship

show examples

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

between

parents

and their

children

are

Change the word

apply

show examples

healthier and make

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

influence.

For example

, my sister bought parenting books as her baby was born and studied on Youtube,but she felt lonely. As she participated in parenting

education

courses, she could gain knowledge about parenting.

As a result

, she built

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

relationship with her child and could gain more confidence as

parents

Second,

parents

can relieve

anxiety

about parenting. Parenting

children

is very important and be burdensome. Especially, the first child

occur

Change the verb form

occurs

show examples

for

parents

anxiety

and worry. In

this

regard, parenting

education

curriculum

Fix the agreement mistake

curricula

show examples

relieve

such

anxiety

and grow confidence. From

experience

Correct article usage

the experience

show examples

of my friend, she always suffered

anxiety

and worry about parenting. She could not be certain whether her parenting is

Add an article

the

show examples

right way during raising the first child. One day, she was recommended parenting

education

from

Change preposition

show examples

other friend

Change the wording

another friend

other friends

show examples

. Through the classes, she learned

right

Correct article usage

the right

show examples

parenting method and she could relieve

anxiety

about parenting.

Finally

, she was able to become healthy and happy growth with their

children

. In conclusion, I agree with the statement because

parents

listen to expert’s

experience

Fix the agreement mistake

experiences

show examples

and advice and reduce worry about parenting.

Submitted by yup on Sat Jun 10 2023

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

parenting training
child-rearing
valuable guidance
effective techniques
child development
psychology

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