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Band 5

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

#cultures #children #message
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Our world
surrounded
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is surrounded
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 by a variety of cultures. The argument that telling
children
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 with hard-working they can reach whatever they want has many pros and cons, in my personal opinion the benefits greatly outweigh the disadvantages. On the one hand, many people think that encouraging
children
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 to endeavour may lead them to be successful and fulfilment in their future life. In other words, parents who motivated their
children
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 to fight against issues for massive goals may have a huge impact on their behaviour,
moreover
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,
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motivation gives more power and self-confidence to the younger generation.
Consequently
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, the
children
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 who have learned not to give up in the early stages have a higher chance of success in their own future careers because they know how to cope with difficult situations and deal with
confrontation
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confrontations
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.
On the other hand
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, the pitfalls of
this
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 approach should not be overlooked.
Furthermore
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,
this
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 idea may have put enormous pressure on the
children
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 and relaxation is vital for their growth.
In addition
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, they should learn failure is a part of the journey and it is not the opposite of success. From my perspective,
while
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 it is indispensable to motivate
children
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 to work hard and pursue their goals, it is
also
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 important to acknowledge that accomplishment is not solely determined by effort and not all of them have access to the same opportunities and resources. some may face,
therefore
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, systemic barriers. In conclusion despite people having different views, I believe it would be better to have a work-life balance viewpoint to prevent all negative effects
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • achieve
  • try hard
  • positive mindset
  • self-belief
  • motivates
  • ambitious goals
  • resilience
  • determination
  • confidence
  • self-esteem
  • growth mindset
  • unrealistic expectations
  • disappointment
  • failure
  • effort
  • hard work
  • seek support
  • individual differences
  • abilities
  • capabilities
What to do next:
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