Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

#say #music #art #drama #school #subjects #level

INTRODUCTION It is

belived

Correct your spelling

believed

by some

gropus

Correct your spelling

groups

of people that teaching art, music and drama is as important as teaching other school subjects, especially at the primary stage. In my opinion, those people are correct and I

completly

Correct your spelling

completely

agree with them. MAIN BODY 1 The first thing to consider, is that art develops

child's

Correct article usage

a child's

show examples

creativity, particularly at

the

Correct article usage

show examples

young age.

As a result

, we

Correct your spelling

can

show examples

have a lot of inspiring and genius ideas from our kids.

In addition

, it can reveal hidden talents inside of us, so more people will be engaged in making new content. Because it becomes harder to be creative

by getting

Wrong verb form

as you get

show examples

older.

For example

, many

Change preposition

apply

show examples

modern musicians started learning

instruemtns

Correct your spelling

instruments

and making songs at their schools. In my

Correct your spelling

opinion

opinoin

Add a comma

opinoin,

show examples

it would

Correct your spelling

show examples

impossible to have so many talented singers and

artist

Fix the agreement mistake

artists

show examples

in our society without teaching music and art to our little children. MAIN BODY 2 CONCLUSION PLAN 1) Reveals

students

Change noun form

student's

students'

show examples

talents and creativity. 1)children are more educated (wide world view) 2) 2) Nobody studies it in schools and it is not important 1) it is not correct to rate creativity 2) more stress and more homework for students

Submitted by muharodnoy on Sat Jun 10 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

194 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

holistic development
fostering
emotional intelligence
problem-solving skills
cultural awareness
curriculum
engaging
memorable
nurture
talents
core subjects
academic
professional success

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6
band
Some people think the actions of individuals can’t make a difference in protecting the environment. Others think that individuals can protect their environment. Discuss both view and state your opinion
It is often argued by some that steps taken by individuals to protect the surroundings cannot make a difference. Others, in contrast, are of the opinion that individual actions can lead to protection of the environment. While the latter position seems soundly argued, I agree with the former view because the average person lacks the political power required to ensure effective environmental protection.
6.5
band
Many teenagers are encouraged by their parents to get a part-time job. What are the advantages and disadvantages of teenagers working part-time?
Several parents forced their teenage children to take part in part-time jobs. This essay will explain the advantages and disadvantages of teenagers applying for a job.
5
band
Some people believe that schools should only teach children subjects which are beneficial to their future career and therefore others subjects such as music and sports are not important To what extend do you agree or disagree
Technology has revolutionized the world in an astonishing way. Now-a-days, students in their schooling consists of various subjects. Some of these subjects are neccessary to make a bright future while some activities are involved to make children healthy and more concentrated. However, there is a thinking among population that the subjects such as science and maths should be teach to the students as these are necessary to develop career and other activities like music and sports have no value in their life, so these should be eliminated from curriculum. I mostly disagree with this prospective, as these additional tasks are also an important part of children life.
<4
band
More and more plastic waste is polluting the world’s cities, countryside, and oceans. What problems will it cause? What measures should be taken to solve these problems?
The increasing amount of plastic waste polluting the world's has become a pressing environmental concern. This essay will discuss the problems caused by plastic pollution and propose measures that can be taken to mitigate these issues.
6.5
band
Some museum charge entry fees while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of charging an entry fee outweight the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experiences.
In contemporary society, museums serve as repositories of culture, history, and art, playing a crucial role in educating and entertaining the public. A prevalent debate surrounds whether museums should charge entry fees or offer free admission. This essay will explore both perspectives and argue that, on balance, the advantages of charging entry fees outweigh the disadvantages.

Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think the actions of individuals can’t make a difference in protecting the environment. Others think that individuals can protect their environment. Discuss both view and state your opinion

Many teenagers are encouraged by their parents to get a part-time job. What are the advantages and disadvantages of teenagers working part-time?

Some people believe that schools should only teach children subjects which are beneficial to their future career and therefore others subjects such as music and sports are not important To what extend do you agree or disagree

More and more plastic waste is polluting the world’s cities, countryside, and oceans. What problems will it cause? What measures should be taken to solve these problems?

Some museum charge entry fees while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of charging an entry fee outweight the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experiences.