Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?
INTRODUCTION It is
belived
by some Correct your spelling
believed
gropus
of people that teaching art, music and drama is as important as teaching other school subjects, especially at the primary stage. In my opinion, those people are correct and I Correct your spelling
groups
completly
agree with them. MAIN BODY 1 The first thing to consider, is that art develops Correct your spelling
completely
child's
creativity, particularly at Correct article usage
a child's
the
young age. Correct article usage
a
As a result
, we ca
have a lot of inspiring and genius ideas from our kids. Correct your spelling
can
In addition
, it can reveal hidden talents inside of us, so more people will be engaged in making new content. Because it becomes harder to be creative by getting
older. Wrong verb form
as you get
For example
, many of
modern musicians started learning Change preposition
apply
instruemtns
and making songs at their schools. In my Correct your spelling
instruments
Correct your spelling
opinion
opinoin
it would Add a comma
opinoin,
me
impossible to have so many talented singers and Correct your spelling
be
artist
in our society without teaching music and art to our little children. MAIN BODY 2 CONCLUSION PLAN 1) Reveals Fix the agreement mistake
artists
students
talents and creativity. 1)children are more educated (wide world view) 2) 2) Nobody studies it in schools and it is not important 1) it is not correct to rate creativity 2) more stress and more homework for studentsChange noun form
student's
students'
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite