The number of older people is increasing. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

It is certainly true that the percentage of senior
people
has increased. In my opinion, the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
merits of increasing
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
of senior
people
outweigh the demerits. On the one hand,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
are
serveal
Correct your spelling
several
disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
increasing of
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
of elderly individuals.
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
problem ,
increase
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
the
elderly
Correct quantifier usage
number of elderly
show examples
people
can
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
to
put
Change the verb form
putting
show examples
pressure on natural resources
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
water, food,
electricity
Correct word choice
and electricity
show examples
.
In other words
, in
future
Add a comma
,future
show examples
we can face
peoplem
Correct your spelling
people
problem
of shortage in
this
resoruces
Correct your spelling
resources
resource
.
Moreover
,
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
population ,means more traffic congestion as well Co2 emissions, which will
increase
the climate change and climate change.
Secondly
, older
people
needs
Change the verb form
need
show examples
help to support from
Correct article usage
the governments
show examples
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
.
For instance
, in many
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
the
governments
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older
people
pension
Correct article usage
a pension
show examples
and
also
special care in
nusring
Correct your spelling
nursing
ensuring
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
or
retriements
Correct your spelling
retirement
retirements
centers
Change the spelling
centres
show examples
.
This
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
can
Correct your spelling
an
show examples
leads
Wrong verb form
lead
show examples
to
perssure
Correct your spelling
pressure
the public
budges
Correct your spelling
budget
show examples
to the
governments
, and they can spend enough funds
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
vital services, healthcare,
education
Correct word choice
and education
show examples
.
On the other hand
, I would like to argue that
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
of
increase
Change the verb form
increasing
show examples
the
proprotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
of elderly
people
outwight
Correct your spelling
outweigh
outwit
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks
show examples
. To
beign
Correct your spelling
begin
with, the most of high position jobs in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies and
governments
facilities
holded
Correct your spelling
held
show examples
by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
older
people
.
For example
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
companies
such
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
Amazon,
Apple
Correct word choice
and Apple
show examples
running by
people
over 65 years.
This
is because they have a lot of experience and skills to deal with challenges and responsibilities, which
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
the companies to make
significant
Add an article
a significant
show examples
amount of profits. As a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
, elderly
people
contribute to prosper the economy of countries.
Secondly
,
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
number
of older
people
, means more workforce
Add a missing verb
is avaliable
show examples
avaliable
Correct your spelling
available
to engage in
job
Add an article
the job
show examples
market.
In other words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
governments
can
increase
the age of retirement and encourage senior
people
to work.
Therefore
, the
number
of taxes the
governments
can earn through
people
increase
Change the verb form
increases
show examples
, and the authorities can use
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
funds to improve the crucial infrastructure, healthcare, education,
public
Correct word choice
and public
show examples
transport.
To sum up
, in
me
Correct pronoun usage
my
show examples
perspective, the upsides of
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
number
of elderly
people
outweigh than downsides.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • transnational problems
  • climate change
  • ozone layer depletion
  • pollution
  • collaborative efforts
  • pooling of resources
  • expertise
  • technology
  • innovative solutions
  • international standards
  • race to the bottom
  • environmental standards
  • capacity
  • impacts
  • national sovereignty
  • independently
  • economic
  • social contexts
  • international consensus
  • legal
  • political systems
  • enforcement
What to do next:
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