IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, people are moving away from rural areas and towards urban areas. Why do you think that is? What problems can this cause?

#countries #people #areas
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It is certainly true that today in many nations,
increase
Use synonyms
 the number of individuals who migrate from
countryside
Add an article
the countryside
show examples
 to
cities
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, the major reason for
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon is in order to find
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
 quality of life, and
this
Linking Words
 trend can create problems
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 crime, shortage of housing, traffic jams. On the one hand, there are several reasons why
people
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moving
Wrong verb form
move
show examples
 from
sububrans
Correct your spelling
suburbs
suburban
 to
cities
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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,
cities
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 provide better access to vital services namely, education, healthcare,
Correct word choice
and jobs
show examples
jobs
Change the noun form
job
show examples
 opportunities.
This
Linking Words
 is because the the most of private companies and high
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 of services
located
Add a missing verb
are located
show examples
 in
cities
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, which means can find jobs and better vital services.
For example
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Amazon,
Apple
Correct word choice
and Apple
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companies
Change noun form
company's
companies'
show examples
braches
Correct your spelling
branches
show examples
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 located in big
cities
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.
Secondly
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, living in
cities
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 means more entertainment
opitions
Correct your spelling
options
,
such
Linking Words
 as
,
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apply
show examples
 music performances, museums,
Correct word choice
and theaters
show examples
theaters
Change the spelling
theatres
show examples
, which
this
Linking Words
opitions
Correct your spelling
options
gives
Correct subject-verb agreement
give
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 a chance to enjoy and reduce
the
Change the word
their
show examples
strees
Correct your spelling
stress
.
Thirdly
Linking Words
,
cities
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 have
people
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 from different backgrounds and cultures, which means more opportunities to make new relationships
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 from
wrouldwide
Correct your spelling
worldwide
.
However
Linking Words
,
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increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 percentage of
people
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 who moving to
cities
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 can create numerous issues.
First
Change the article
The first
show examples
 problem
,
Add a missing verb
is, increase
show examples
Use synonyms
increase
Correct article usage
the increase
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 population in
cities
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,
means
Correct pronoun usage
which means
show examples
 the number of
people
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 who have vehicles
increase
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, which means severe traffic congestion.
Therefore
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,
increase
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 the Co2 emissions from cars ,which will contribute to global warming
as well as
Linking Words
 climate change.
Second
Change the article
The second
show examples
 problem,
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increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 inhabitants in
cities
Use synonyms
 leads to
Use synonyms
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 demand
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 rent or purchase housing, which can create accommodations issues.
Finally
Linking Words
, more
people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
cities
Change preposition
in cities
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 means more poverty ,which can
increase
Use synonyms
 the gap between wealthy and poor
people
Use synonyms
.
As a result
Linking Words
, the rate of crime will
increase
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, in my perspective, the main reasons for moving
people
Use synonyms
 to
cities
Use synonyms
to
Add a missing verb
are to
show examples
 find high standards of living, and
this
Linking Words
 trend can create issues including,
taffic
Correct your spelling
traffic
 jams, more demand
in
Change preposition
for
show examples
 housing,
increate
Correct your spelling
increase
show examples
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 rate of crime.
Submitted by faiz3177 on

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  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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