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Writing Samples
Band 5

With a fast pace of modern life more and more people are turning towards fast food for their main meals. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#pace #life #people #food #meals
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In
this
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 contemporary era, most individuals having busier schedules of work prefer to go for
junk
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food
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 for their major meals.
Although
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 having fast
food
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 as a part of their breakfast can be advantageous in some ways, I would argue that considering it as the main snack of the day can have more drawbacks on
health
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instead
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 of being beneficial. To commence with,
this
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 trend does have its share of pros. For one, Since,
junk
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food
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 is very convenient and can be found easily in the market, humans can buy it anytime.
Also
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, people who are working throughout the whole day and do not have
time
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for preparing
Change preposition
to prepare
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 their lunch can eat packed
food
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 which will save
time
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.
For instance
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, a general survey in Canada has revealed that about 90 per cent of Canadians prefer to eat burgers and cinnamon buns as a part of their breakfast and lunch
due to
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 the fact that they
are
Verb problem
do
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 not
getting
Wrong verb form
get
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 enough
time
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 to prepare their meals because of long working hours during the week.
Therefore
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,
junk
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food
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 plays a
life saver
Correct your spelling
life-saving
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 role for them. Despite these advantages,
however
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,
this
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 trend of considering fast
food
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 as their main meal has been proving disadvantageous in terms of
health
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 concerns. By eating huge amounts of pizzas and burgers, and drinking cold beverages, most individuals are encountering dangerous diseases like obesity which
further
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 results in diabetes. To elaborate, the research has been conducted in the USA ( United States of America) which revealed that 80 per cent of the population including children are suffering from the problem of obesity.
Moreover
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, 40 per cent of the same have diabetes. And research
showed
Wrong verb form
shows
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junk
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food
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 is the primary reason behind
this
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.
Hence
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, fast
food
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 is proving hazardous to
health
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. In conclusion,
while
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 there are certain upsides of eating
junk
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food
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 like being a
time
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 saver
as well as
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 a convenient way to have a meal but downsides of
this
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 trend are far more dangerous leading to
health
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 problems.
Submitted by sukhman.puchd on

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coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a fairly good organizational structure, but there are some areas where the logical flow could be improved. Ensure that each paragraph supports the main argument and transitions between ideas are clear and smooth.
task achievement
The essay addresses the question and provides relevant arguments both for and against the topic. However, the response could be more thorough and address counterarguments more effectively.
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