IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Rich countries often gave money to poorer countries, but it does not solve poverty. Therefore developed country should give other type of help to the poorer countries rather than financial aid. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

#countries #money #poverty #country #type #aid
Develop
nations
 frequently provides
aids
Fix the agreement mistake
aid
show examples
 to
third world
Add a hyphen
third-world
show examples
nations
 in
form
Correct article usage
the form
show examples
 of
money
. In many
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
 wealth does not support in
progress
Add an article
the progress
show examples
 of these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
countries
Change preposition
of countries
show examples
. So, it would be better to help them in other ways. I personally disagree with the financial support for the growth. Financial help often got wasted if it does not get used in
proper
Add an article
a proper
the proper
show examples
 way by
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
.
For
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 during the war in Afghanistan, many
countries
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
contributed
huge
Add an article
a huge
show examples
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of
money
 for development, but even after
war
Correct article usage
the war
show examples
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
 of the
countrymen’s
Change noun form
countrymen
show examples
 are unchanged. It
also
 observed that
due to
 mismanagement financial help can be used in
wrong
Add an article
the wrong
a wrong
show examples
 way.
Best
Add an article
The best
show examples
 example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
 is terrorism. Terrorist groups always used that
money
 which,
supposed
Add a missing verb
is supposed
show examples
 to use for
developments
Fix the agreement mistake
development
show examples
.
Furthermore
,
instead
 of offering
money
Add a comma
,money
show examples
 they can provide help in
form
Correct article usage
the form
show examples
 of education, medical etc. Just because of
poor
Add an article
the poor
show examples
 condition of many
countries
 of
African
Correct article usage
the African
show examples
 continent so many
nations
 provide
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 in
form
Correct article usage
the form
show examples
 of food and shelter for their locals. In many
ways
Add a comma
,ways
show examples
 easy
money
 can
misguides
Wrong verb form
misguide
show examples
 the
man power
Correct your spelling
manpower
show examples
 of any country. It makes
habit
Correct article usage
a habit
show examples
 for them
instead
 of doing any type of productive
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
 they seeks help from other and if they do not get
such
 help they will start blaming
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
.
To conclude
, helping in
form
Correct article usage
the form
show examples
 of
money
 is not the only
ways
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
 for developing
nations
. Mismanagement of
money
 by any higher authority can interrupt growth.
Money
 help can even produce slow growth
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 some
countries
. Aids can be in any
form
; it can be in
form
Correct article usage
the form
show examples
 of education, medicine, food, shelter etc.
Submitted by jaimini2000 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: