Nowadays, there is more and more competition for getting into university Is this a positive or negative development?

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Nowadays, trying to get acceptance from universities is common among young people.

Although

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everyone might get good academic achievements, competition might be the main reason for their psychological traumas. On the one hand, there are some negative effects,

such

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apply

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stress, mental health, and access issues. To be more clear, since thousands of young people are trying to get acceptance

letter

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letters

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from universities, and their academic achievement scores are

also

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increasing from standards,

as a consequence

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, candidates, who

has

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have

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got lower scores may get stressed and

anxieted

Correct your spelling

anxious

feelings, because of the competitive atmosphere.

On the other hand

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, there are advantages

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this

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for example

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, it is good that

youngsters'

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youngsters

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being

Wrong verb form

are

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busy with lessons,

instead

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of wasting their time on social media or

for

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apply

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video games. Because today's common and main problem is living in

sadentary

Correct your spelling

sedentary

life among young people, so they get different problems,

for instance

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, health issues, communication problems, and so on. In conclusion, trying to get

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into

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universities

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university

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Wrong verb form

has been

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competitive in recent years, and

negative

Correct article usage

the negative

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effects are more

over

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than

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positive

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the positive

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ones.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Fri Jun 07 2024

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task achievement

Although the essay addresses the task, it could delve deeper into both the positive and negative aspects of university competition. More specific details and concrete examples are needed to strengthen the response.

task achievement

While the main ideas are clear, they could be expanded further to ensure they are fully developed. Additional details and clear, comprehensive explanations would enhance the overall clarity of the essay.

coherence cohesion

While the essay is logically structured, occasionally there are jumps between ideas that could be smoothed out with better use of linking words and phrases. This would improve the overall cohesion and coherence.

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph develops one main idea fully before moving to the next idea. This will help in maintaining a clear and logical flow throughout the essay.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, which frame the discussion well.

task achievement

The main points are relevant to the topic and contribute to answering the question asked.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

173 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

academic achievements
foster
culture of excellence
merit-based system
dedicated
educational institutions
quality education
future workforce
stress and pressure
fierce competition
mental health
anxiety
depression
burnout
tertiary education
less privileged backgrounds
exacerbate
social inequality
drives innovation
programs and facilities
overemphasis
creativity
critical thinking
ethical judgment

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Nowadays, there is more and more competition for getting into university Is this a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Email is a fast and convenient way to communicate, and written letters aren’t needed anymore. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In many parts of the world today there is a profitable market for products which lighten or whiten people’s skin. Outline the reasons for using such products and discuss what effects they have in terms of health and society.

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

People are encouraged to get rid of things in order to get the newest fashion and the latest technology. Do the disadvantages of a throwaway society outweigh the economic advantages?