IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #governments #support #artists #painters #musicians #alternative #sources
There has been an ongoing debate about whether talented
artists
 should be provided subsidies from the
governments
 or not.
While
 a number of
people
 believe that
governments
 are the bodies responsible for
such
artists
’ income, I would argue that these
people
 should be granted by other sources. On the one hand, there are several reasons why
people
 think that art creators are deserved to be funded by the authorities. One of the reasons is that these individuals can make a significant contribution to their nations in many sectors. To illustrate, the exhibition of some worldwide influential
artists
 would attract thousands of foreign tourists,
therefore
 boosting the tourism industry.
In addition
, funding from
governments
 may have an enormous impact on
artists
. Since there is less concern about finance,
artists
 can fully concentrate on their works of art and may produce more masterpieces.
On the other hand
, I assume that the
people
 working in the creative industry are supposed to receive support from any source except the government.
Firstly
, life is becoming easier for
people
 with the development of technology so
artists
 can generate income without help from the national bodies.
For instance
, they can use social media as a marketing tool by posting their artwork on it to attract many
people
 to buy.
Secondly
, there are many far more important areas to which should be allocated money
such
 as education or hospitality. If the
governments
 invest too much in art, they will not have enough budget for these crucial sections, lowering residents' life quality. In conclusion,
while
 there are some positive effects on
artists
 when gaining support from the authorities, I still firmly hold the view that they had better make money in other ways.
Submitted by dminh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: