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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Topic 10. In some countries older people are being encouraged to work longer and not to retire. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of working beyond retirement age.

Globally, the average age at which people cease to
work
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 is around sixty-three. Despite
this
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, many humans are now being motivated to
work
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 beyond the age of retirement. The following essay will explore the possible benefits and drawbacks of extending one’s
work
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life
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. Undoubtedly,there are numerous advantages that motivate the elderly to continue working.
This
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 includes the ability to afford one’s living expenses more comfortably
,
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 and sustain a better quality of
life
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.
This
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 is clearly superior to depending on a pension scheme or long-term savings to survive the cost of living.
Furthermore
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, an elder person may find that having a job provides a sense of fulfilment and satisfaction. Another benefit is the active movement a job provides could help keep one healthy and fit.
For instance
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, 50% of the people who
work
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 in agriculture, specifically in rice fields, in Japan are over the age of seventy, it is no coincidence that the
life
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 expectancy in Japan is much higher than in the rest of the world. Clearly, humans who are occupied with tasks are, more often than not, healthier and happier.
However
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, there are possible disadvantages to working well beyond the average expected years. The older a human is, the more
time
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 they need to rest, as it is vital to recovery and rehabilitation. After investing so many years of one’s
life
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 into a career, they deserve
time
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to
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themselves
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to unwind and enjoy their leisure activities. Unfortunately, if they are still occupied with a job, they may never get the
time
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 to enjoy themselves and do what they love.
For example
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, a global travel and tourism journal published statistics on the ages of frequent travellers. They revealed that almost half of the people who often fly across the globe are retirees. Unquestionably, taking the
time
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 to pursue passions could lead to a higher sense of contentment.
To conclude
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, there are certain benefits that could motivate an individual to continue their career,
such
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 as acquiring a sense of fulfilment and maintaining health.
Nevertheless
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, it could
also
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 result in more exhaustion and fatigue.

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task response
Your essay provides a clear response to the given topic, addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of working beyond retirement age. However, be sure to fully explain and support your points with relevant examples.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates good coherence and cohesion with a clear logical structure, including an introduction and conclusion. Maintain this consistency throughout the essay by ensuring smooth transitions between ideas and supporting details.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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