IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

In many countries, it is obligatory for school children to wear a uniform. Do the advatages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages? Provide reasons to support your answer and include any appropriate examples to illustrate your points.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Get started →
Whether to mandate school uniforms for primary
students
Use synonyms
 has been a subject of debate. Some people believe that
students
Use synonyms
 should
get
Verb problem
have
show examples
 the freedom
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 wear
while
Linking Words
 learning in schools
,
Punctuation problem
.
show examples
 I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 view because a strict dress code will not only help the
children
Use synonyms
 to concentrate on studies
but
Punctuation problem
, but
show examples
also
Linking Words
all
Verb problem
ensure that
show examples
 they will
get
Verb problem
all be
show examples
 treated equally. Primarily, every parent
send
Correct subject-verb agreement
sends
show examples
 their
children
Use synonyms
 to school
for learning
Wrong verb form
to learn
show examples
 social ethics, communications, and to become a good citizen of
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
. If schools have mandatory uniforms,
then
Linking Words
 in
this
Linking Words
 way there will be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
less discrimination among
children
Use synonyms
. Every child will communicate freely with their peer without cruelty.
This
Linking Words
 will allow them to build
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
strong
bonding
Replace the word
bonds
 and to create
friendly
Correct article usage
a friendly
show examples
 environment in class
while
Linking Words
 learning.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
due to
Linking Words
 similar dress, every child should get treated
eaqually
Correct your spelling
equally
 by teachers and other staff.
For example
Linking Words
, in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 school with no uniform,
children
Use synonyms
 wear clothes as per their financial condition, and sometimes teachers give more attention to
Linking Words
this high standard
Fix the agreement mistake
these high-standard
show examples
students
Use synonyms
. Other
students
Use synonyms
 suffered
due to
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 behaviour. Admittedly, a
no uniform
Replace the word
non-uniform
 policy will help
students
Use synonyms
 to learn in schools, but we can not handle the attitude of every
Use synonyms
children
Fix the agreement mistake
child
show examples
 in mass education. I strongly believe that the wearin an uniform is one of the important aspects of every
Use synonyms
children
Fix the agreement mistake
child
show examples
 in their academic journey.
Although
Linking Words
 it has some drawbacks, its advantages
are way
Rephrase
far
show examples
 outweigh the disadvantages. It helps
children
Use synonyms
 to learn social behaviour and equality.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Answer both sides more clearly. Say why uniforms are good, but also show the bad side before you choose one side.
coherence and cohesion
Make your main idea easy to follow. One paragraph should have one main point, then explain it well.
task response
Use more clear support for each point. Add one short example and explain how it helps your idea.
coherence and cohesion
Link ideas with simple words like first, also, for example, however, and in conclusion.
task response
You clearly give your opinion in the introduction and again in the end.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body ideas, and a conclusion.
task response
You use one example about rich and poor students, and it fits the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: