Some countries encourage foreign companies to open in their country. Many people think the government should focus on encouraging local business rather than foreign businesses. To what extent do you agree?

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Nowadays, one of the high arguments today relates to whether to boot
companies
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from other countries to open or focus on the local business. In my opinion, both have their advantages, but I may say the former belief is more correct when compared to the latter.
To begin
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with, having encouragement to foreign
companies
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benefits us in myriad ways. First of all, the most noteworthy positive point is that it will improve the economy of either the countries or residents.
For instance
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, if many
companies
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are opened, more jobs will exist for everyone which will let each one
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have

It seems that the verb has does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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their
income
Correct word choice
own income

There may be an adjective issue here.

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. What is more, it
also
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helps to improve the knowledge which is new.
In other words
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, foreign
companies
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will bring many new technologies and knowledge.
Moreover
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, not only does it bring money to their
companies
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

but
also
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to the government because of tax. The more products and services are sold, the more money will
charge
Wrong verb form
be charged

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb charge. Consider changing it.

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by the government.
On the other hand
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, there are some people who make the opposing case, they may have their own sound reasons.
However
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, its demerits outweigh the merits. If we only focus on local businesses, the job opportunities will be reduced.
For example
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, the jobs in local
companies
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are limited which cannot have enough for the residents.
Furthermore
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we cannot have knowledge from others which will lead to creating a poor country. In conclusion, both ideas have their own advantages. From my standpoint,
although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

I believe that encouraging foreign
companies
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

is better, I tend to believe that the best course of action would be to attempt to achieve a balance between foreign and local
companies
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
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task response
The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear argument in favor of foreign businesses while acknowledging the opposing view. It provides relevant examples to support the points made.
coherence cohesion
The introduction introduces the topic and the writer's opinion, and the conclusion summarizes the main points. However, the essay lacks a clear, logical progression of ideas and could benefit from better paragraph organization.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • encourage
  • foreign companies
  • local business
  • government policies
  • investment
  • job opportunities
  • economic growth
  • sustainability
  • balance
  • attract
  • challenge
  • compete
  • large corporations
  • national identity
  • cultural heritage
  • technology
  • expertise
  • incentives
  • support
  • community
  • social cohesion
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