Nowadays, it seems that different generations within the family spend less time doing activities together. Why is that? Is it a positive or negative development?
Today, spending
time
doing activities together is becoming less priority for the different members of families
. In my opinion, this
is because of the quick innovations made by science and technology that makes
people Correct subject-verb agreement
make
work
more I believe this
has a negative impact since it is the cause of the arising
problems in communication.
Correct your spelling
rising
Due to
the advancement of science and technology, people nowadays are busier than those in the last
century. Family time
is becoming less priority since the cost of living today is so much higher than before which forced individuals to work
more. For instance
, both parents have full-time
work
in order to finance the daily expenses of the family especially if they have children who also
need other basic needs. These developments have made human lives complicated and difficult despite significant improvements. Specifically, for those who want to start a family because they have to balance their professional and personal lives which is not getting easy as time
goes by.
In my opinion, this
is a negative development because the gap in communication in families
is increasing and unfortunately not everyone has a choice since each person has a different situation in life. The misunderstanding of families
has caused instability that could have affected other members particularly, their children who need stable
life. The widening gap must be resolved properly in which the adults must bear the weight of the growing problems of the family. Correct article usage
a stable
For instance
, parents should always explain to their children why they are working so much in this
way the child has an idea. Although
they will not fully understand what is happening now, parents must trust them that someday they will understand the dire situation of this
lifetime.
In conclusion, the growing demand for innovation in science and technology has made people become busy with their work
which I believe has a downside because families
are spending less time
which leads to a widening gap in communication.Submitted by angeline07 on
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coherence cohesion
Task Response: The response addresses the prompt and presents a clear opinion. Ensure to provide more depth and complexity in discussing the effects of technology on family time.
task achievement
Coherence and Cohesion: The overall essay structure and the main points are generally well-supported, but the introduction and conclusion could be stronger. Work on transitioning between ideas for improved coherence and cohesion.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite