Nowadays, it seems that different generations within the family spend less time doing activities together. Why is that? Is it a positive or negative development?

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Today, spending
time
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doing activities together is becoming less priority for the different members of
families
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. In my opinion,
this
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is because of the quick innovations made by science and technology that
makes
Correct subject-verb agreement
make
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people
work
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more I believe
this
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has a negative impact since it is the cause of the
arising
Correct your spelling
rising
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problems in communication.
Due to
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the advancement of science and technology, people nowadays are busier than those in the
last
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century. Family
time
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is becoming less priority since the cost of living today is so much higher than before which forced individuals to
work
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more.
For instance
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, both parents have full-
time
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work
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in order to finance the daily expenses of the family especially if they have children who
also
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need other basic needs. These developments have made human lives complicated and difficult despite significant improvements. Specifically, for those who want to start a family because they have to balance their professional and personal lives which is not getting easy as
time
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goes by. In my opinion,
this
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is a negative development because the gap in communication in
families
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is increasing and unfortunately not everyone has a choice since each person has a different situation in life. The misunderstanding of
families
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has caused instability that could have affected other members particularly, their children who need
stable
Correct article usage
a stable
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life. The widening gap must be resolved properly in which the adults must bear the weight of the growing problems of the family.
For instance
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, parents should always explain to their children why they are working so much in
this
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way the child has an idea.
Although
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they will not fully understand what is happening now, parents must trust them that someday they will understand the dire situation of
this
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lifetime. In conclusion, the growing demand for innovation in science and technology has made people become busy with their
work
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which I believe has a downside because
families
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are spending less
time
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which leads to a widening gap in communication.
Submitted by angeline07 on

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coherence cohesion
Task Response: The response addresses the prompt and presents a clear opinion. Ensure to provide more depth and complexity in discussing the effects of technology on family time.
task achievement
Coherence and Cohesion: The overall essay structure and the main points are generally well-supported, but the introduction and conclusion could be stronger. Work on transitioning between ideas for improved coherence and cohesion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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