IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

University students always focus on one specialist subject, but some people think universities should encourage their students to study a range of subjects in addition to their own subject. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays focusing on
one
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 particular
subject
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 has become a common trend among undergraduates.
However
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 many individuals think apart from their main
subject
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,
students
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 should be motivated to learn a few other
subjects
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 by their education institutes. I completely disagree with
this
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 view because not only adding more
subjects
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 can incline their workload but
also
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 it can be depressing to the
students
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also
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.
To begin
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 with, in the present days studying
one
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 major
subject
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 is substantially demanding because the content of these courses is much more. Even though
students
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 study hard, some are still struggling to get past
one
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subject
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 which requires a higher workload. So adding more
subjects
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 could be detrimental to them.
For example
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, medical
students
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 have a sizeable amount of studying in their curriculum which is crucial because the responsibility they get is vital.
Thus
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 studying another
subject
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 can be demanding and time-consuming.
Therefore
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 ,in my opinion, I think focusing on their main
subject
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 is better than adding more.
Moreover
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, studying many topics at once can increase stress which can later lead to pressing problems like depression. Not all
students
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 are the same because their mental capacity
,
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apply
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 and coping mechanisms vary from
one
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 another.
Although
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 some may find learning straightforward, there are others
on the contrary
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. Adding more demand on these
students
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 can be depressing to them.
For instance
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, there were some suicidal reports among medical
students
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 simply because they could not handle the pressure which was caused by the inability to cope with the mental stress.
Thus
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 I tend to disagree with the mentioned statement. In conclusion, adding more
subjects
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 to undergrads could lead to an increase in their workload which is already at a tipping point and it could increase their stress levels leading to detrimental events like suicide,
thus
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 I totally disagree with the statement
of
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that
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 universities should motivate
students
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 to learn extra
subjects
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 other than their main streams.

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coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is clearly linked to the main topic and thesis statement. Consider organizing the points in a more structured manner to improve logical flow.
task achievement
Make sure to thoroughly address all parts of the prompt. Provide more detailed explanations and examples to support your arguments.
task achievement
Good use of examples to support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion that summarize your arguments effectively.
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