IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

housework equally between men and women. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#housework #men #women
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Lately, more and more
women
Use synonyms
 are entering the workforce and working
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
. With
this
Linking Words
 trend, the idea that equal sharing of
household
Use synonyms
 chores at home is reasonable is spreading. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
 earn enough money to cover their living expenses, which means
women
Use synonyms
 play a significant role in supporting the
household
Use synonyms
. If
women
Use synonyms
 pay living expenses sufficiently to sustain the home,
housework
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 should be shared between men and
women
Use synonyms
 equally.
For instance
Linking Words
, data shows that the average income for men each year decreased by 2,000,000 yen compared to 1980.
This
Linking Words
 leads to the result of research about the degree of
women
Use synonyms
’s salary contribution. 90% of men answered that it is so helpful to sustain a
household
Use synonyms
 when
women
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 work and earn money a lot.
Therefore
Linking Words
, sharing
housework
Use synonyms
 should be equal because
women
Use synonyms
 make sufficient money to cover the living costs.
Secondly
Linking Words
, nowadays, many countries encourage to be active
in
Change preposition
apply
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hiring capable
people
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 regardless of their gender. It is required for
women
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 to participate in companies or societies, which means they have a chance to work more than before.
For instance
Linking Words
, my company sets a goal to hire more
women
Use synonyms
 for engineering and managerial staff. The human resource tried to hire talented employees and
people
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 regardless of sex to keep a precious asset and to grow the company.
Thus
Linking Words
, doing
housework
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 in corporations together is needed for
women
Use synonyms
 and society, which leads skilled
people
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 to be active in communities and companies. In conclusion,
housework
Use synonyms
 should be borne equally in dual-earner couples.
This
Linking Words
 is because of equality of supporting
housework
Use synonyms
 and
household
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, and because many countries encourage accomplished
people
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 to be active in societies and companies.
Submitted by loud.music.n on

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