It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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In today’s world, the vast majority of society is likely to take a big risk when it comes to their professional and internal lives.

While

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there are some drawbacks related to

this

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, I believe that the merits are greater for

people

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’s future. On

one

Correct article usage

the one

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hand, there is a disadvantage to taking a big step, especially related to the

job

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and internal life. In the first place,

people

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who have been receiving a monthly income for a long time would find it hard to maintain their expenses after choosing to leave their

job

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For example

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, they used to pay house rent and various costs of living with their wages but now have to use their savings to pay their expenses.

As a result

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, they need to have good money management for a long period of time.

On the other hand

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, I am on the side that taking a big leap is

also

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a good thing to do for numerous

people

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. In the first place, if someone chooses to have their own business, they will open a new opportunity for others.

For instance

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, there will be new

job

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vacancies for someone who finds a

job

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to become a new team staff, which can help

people

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grow and help them financially.

Thus

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, more

people

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will prosper and have a beautiful life in the future.

In addition

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to that, an entrepreneur will have more ability to be agile and creative

due to

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building their own brand, which can shape them to become more knowledgeable and enhance their ability to think.

For example

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people

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need to have a great curiosity in various market segments and great time management to excel in their goals.

Hence

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, they will be open to many opportunities for their brand longevity. In conclusion, the advantages of taking risks are better for peoples’ lives than being ordinary. Despite facing several uncertainties, they can open new

job

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opportunities for others and be more competent in understanding various new knowledge. Given

this

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situation, it is recommended that

people

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should try new things to enhance the quality of their

further

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life.

Submitted by khairanaizzati on Mon Jun 12 2023

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12
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

346 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Opportunities
Growth
Innovation
Challenges
Self-discovery
Resilience
Uncertainty
Consequences
Calculated risks
Stagnation
Regret
Comfort zone
Entrepreneurship
Adventurous spirit
Thriving
Failure
Mitigate
Reap the rewards

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

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