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Band 6

some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place
Whether
parents
 or
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 should be responsible for
children
’s good
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 has been a heated topic across the world. Some hold the view that
parents
 play a vital role in
upbringing
Correct article usage
the upbringing
show examples
well-behaved
Change preposition
of well-behaved
show examples
 young generations for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
while
 others expect that
teachers
 are supposed to take accountability for nurturing socially-accepted members. In
this
 article, I will reason both views and present my own ideas. It is true that
children
 can learn multiple things from schools, including socially-appropriate
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 for the reason that
teachers
 take the role of teaching and supervising students’ learning and development.
For instance
,
teachers
 usually redirect a child’s inappropriate
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 once it’s identified.
In addition
, a school is like a small society where
children
 can learn to socialize with their peers and other seniors. In
such
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 enriched social environment,
children
 may be able to adopt qualities
such
 as compassion, kindness and respect for others.
However
, It is undeniable that upbringing is significant in
children
’s development as
parents
 are usually
children
’s first
teachers
. Practically every child stays with their family since they were born, which means they spend most of
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
show examples
 with their family members, especially their
parents
.
Therefore
, it is easy for their
parents
 to
post impact
Add a hyphen
post-impact
show examples
 on their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 formation as
children
 tend to copy their
parents
’ languages,
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 and ways of living.
For example
, a child who grows up in a family with good manners is more likely to be a polite person in the future
while
 who was born in a family full of violence has
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 chance to be aggressive when he or she becomes a grown-up. In summary,
although
 schools play an important role in shaping
children
’s social
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
, parental factors are the key to
cultivate
Wrong verb form
cultivating
show examples
 well-behaved citizens.
Submitted by yancixuan123 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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