IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

More and more people are eating healthy food and exercising regularly. What are the reasons for that? What can we do to make other people do the same?

#people #food
Every day more and more
people
 are willing to eat healthy
food
 and do exercises regularly. It is believed that wholesome
food
 and some activities during the day can keep your body in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good condition. Let's have a look at the reasons that make
people
 have an active lifestyle and be in a regime. Healthy
food
 and regular sport are the
baseline
Change the noun form
baselines
show examples
 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good well-being. The recent studies of the University of California showed that most of the retired
people
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
age
Replace the word
aged
show examples
 60-80 suffer from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
heart diseases which were caused by the absence of
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
 activities during
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 whole life. It is proven that the exercises utilize
body's
Correct article usage
the body's
show examples
 flexibility and extend the life expectancy. The wholesome
food
 plummets the risk of getting cancer.
The recent
Correct article usage
Recent
show examples
 statistics
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 that the most vicious illness of
XXI
Correct article usage
the XXI
show examples
centure
Correct your spelling
century
 is cancer. Even if we have a partial remedy
from
Change preposition
for
show examples
 it,
Correct pronoun usage
it doen't
show examples
doen't
Correct your spelling
doesn't
 mean that
people
 shouldn't take care of what they eat. The
food
, which we consume every day, contains not always healthy fats or sugar.
The
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
"
modern
Correct your spelling
Modern
show examples
"
food
 is a source of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
chemicals which can destroy our
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
 from
inside
Correct article usage
the inside
show examples
. Regular exercising can keep you in a great fit. Those, who usually visit a gym twice a week are wary about their
appearence
Correct your spelling
appearance
 and how they will look in ten years.
According to
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 recent experiment in the New York Time magazine, where the journalist used the photos of ten random
womens
Correct your spelling
women
show examples
 and by using a computer program predicted how they would look
like
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in ten years. The results were staggering. The women couldn't recognize themself and admit that there were their pictures. Suppose, it was a quite good motivation for them.
To sum up
,
to make
Change the verb form
making
show examples
 other
people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
follow
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 diet and consume
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthy
food
 can be the
quientessence
Correct your spelling
quintessence
 of other
people
, as it was by the experiment in the New York Time magazine. The potential illnesses and their vicious outcomes can
also
 make
people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
change
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 habits and divert
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 life approach. So, the positive effect
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 consuming healthy
food
 and doing
exercies
Correct your spelling
exercises
exercise
 regularly, outweigh all drawbacks.
Submitted by jennie on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: