IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary schools rather than secondary school.

#experts #children #language #schools #school
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
A lot of
parents
Use synonyms
 and teachers believe that it is beneficial for youngsters
to begin
Linking Words
 learning a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 at primary school rather than junior school.In my point of view,I personally believe the benefits outweigh the demerit.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,students who are bilingual can
contributes
Change the verb form
contribute
show examples
intellectual
Change preposition
to intellectual
show examples
 development.
This
Linking Words
 is because
according to
Linking Words
 scientists,
Correct article usage
the childrens
show examples
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
children's
study
Use synonyms
foreign
Correct article usage
a foreign
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 earlier , the more beneficial they get. They not only improve thinking flexibly but
also
Linking Words
 enhance creativity and attention which
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
can help students improve learning effectiveness and work efficiency.
For
Linking Words
example
Add a comma
,example
show examples
 I am a person of mixed blood between Korean and Chinese. On that account when I was young I generalist of two languages. Becoming
bilingual
Correct article usage
a bilingual
show examples
 person makes me have a high attraction and creativity.
Additionally
Linking Words
,
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
also
Linking Words
enables
Correct subject-verb agreement
enable
show examples
 learning of other cultures.The reason is that if offsprings
study
Use synonyms
other
Change the wording
another language
other languages
show examples
language
Use synonyms
 they may be interested in the culture of
another countries
Replace the adjective
another country
other countries
show examples
 which can help enrich their life experiences.
For instance
Linking Words
 , nowadays I
study
Use synonyms
 English and Japanese , apart from
learn
Change the verb form
learning
show examples
 that, I
also
Linking Words
looking
Wrong verb form
look
show examples
from
Change preposition
at
show examples
 books about those countries'
culture
Fix the agreement mistake
cultures
show examples
 because I find them really interesting.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
learn
Fix the infinitive
to learn
show examples
 a foreign
language
Use synonyms
parents
Use synonyms
 need to invest a lot of energy and money. To explain that every
parents
Use synonyms
 want their children
get
Add the particle
to get
show examples
 higher scores in English ,because it is so essential.
Parents
Use synonyms
 have to pay high expenses
let
Fix the infinitive
to let
show examples
 children go to
remidial
Correct your spelling
remedial
 lessons. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement is more beneficial to individuals if they
study
Use synonyms
 a foreign
language
Use synonyms
 at elementary school.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 there is a disadvantage which
is cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
 high expenses
Submitted by jaehee0203.jh on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: