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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #earth #activity #place
Over the
last
years
Correct quantifier usage
few years
show examples
, our world has changed by human activity. Some
people
 believe that human's
interfere
Replace the word
interference
show examples
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
 our planet have altered the
Earth
 and damaged
people
's life.
However
, opponents think that human activity makes our planet
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 relevant place
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
to live
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
fulfill
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
This
 essay will discuss both pros and cons of
this
 issue and
summerize
Correct your spelling
summarise
show examples
 my opinion about
this
 tendency. On the one hand, our world is developing day by day, so
people
 alter the
Earth
. Many factories are constructed and many cars
are
Wrong verb form
have been
show examples
 produced
last
 decades. Harmful gases pollute the air and cause Global warming.
Furthermore
, individuals cut trees in order to build skyscribes.
Thus
,
lacking
Wrong verb form
the lack
show examples
 of trees affects
people
's longevity.
On the other hand
, some
people
 believe that there are some benefits of building modern cities. Inventions of new technologies have altered the
Earth
.
People
 build modern cities to live more
convenient
Change the word
conveniently
show examples
 and to get more job opportunities.
In addition
, they think
people
 can plant trees in the place of damaged forests. Taking everything into consideration, it can be concluded that there are above-mentioned benefits and drawbacks.
However
, l believe that
people
 can't build modern cities
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the expense of
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
.
Therefore
, my opinion is that
negative
Correct article usage
the negative
show examples
 sides outweigh and human activity harms the
Earth
.
Submitted by nihatisn1 on

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coherence cohesion
Your essay lacks a clear structure and organization. It is important to break down your essay into introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion to enhance the coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Your essay partially addresses the task, but it lacks a clear development of ideas. Ensure that you provide a more comprehensive response to the question and support your main points with relevant examples.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • renewable resources
  • carbon footprint
  • conservation
  • ecology
  • emissions
  • fossil fuels
  • greenhouse gases
  • habitat destruction
  • industrialization
  • pollutants
  • recycling
  • urbanization
  • deforestation
  • ecosystem
What to do next:
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