Some people believe that the Earth is being harmed (damaged) by human activity. Others feel that human activity makes the Earth a better place to live. Discuss both views and give your opinion. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #earth #activity #place

Over the

last

years

Correct quantifier usage

few years

show examples

, our world has changed by human activity. Some

people

believe that human's

interfere

Replace the word

interference

show examples

Change preposition

with

show examples

our planet have altered the

Earth

and damaged

people

's life.

However

, opponents think that human activity makes our planet

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

relevant place

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

to live

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

life

fulfill

Verb problem

apply

show examples

This

essay will discuss both pros and cons of

this

issue and

summerize

Correct your spelling

summarise

show examples

my opinion about

this

tendency. On the one hand, our world is developing day by day, so

people

alter the

Earth

. Many factories are constructed and many cars

are

Wrong verb form

have been

show examples

produced

last

decades. Harmful gases pollute the air and cause Global warming.

Furthermore

, individuals cut trees in order to build skyscribes.

Thus

lacking

Wrong verb form

the lack

show examples

of trees affects

people

's longevity.

On the other hand

, some

people

believe that there are some benefits of building modern cities. Inventions of new technologies have altered the

Earth

People

build modern cities to live more

convenient

Change the word

conveniently

show examples

and to get more job opportunities.

In addition

, they think

people

can plant trees in the place of damaged forests. Taking everything into consideration, it can be concluded that there are above-mentioned benefits and drawbacks.

However

, l believe that

people

can't build modern cities

Change preposition

show examples

the expense of

environment

Add an article

the environment

show examples

Therefore

, my opinion is that

negative

Correct article usage

the negative

show examples

sides outweigh and human activity harms the

Earth

Submitted by nihatisn1 on Mon Jun 12 2023

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Your essay partially addresses the task, but it lacks a clear development of ideas. Ensure that you provide a more comprehensive response to the question and support your main points with relevant examples.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

211 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

sustainability
renewable resources
carbon footprint
conservation
ecology
emissions
fossil fuels
greenhouse gases
habitat destruction
industrialization
pollutants
recycling
urbanization
deforestation
ecosystem

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Fully explain your ideas

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