Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects, others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification. Discuss both of these views and provide your opinion

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During the university stage, students are divided into two groups, the
first
group
prefers to extend the studying coverage by adding some supportive courses to the main one,
while
the other party prefers to focus and pay more attention to the main course. In my opinion, the
first
group
has more advantages than the second. The
first
group
believe that by
this
approach, they will earn more knowledge about other aspects that will support them during practical life, and they will be more flexible to adapt their careers in line with the dynamic market demands. a real example of studying many courses
besides
the main course is that any engineer should have background knowledge of accounting, planning, safety and environment, and computer skills so it will
better
Add a missing verb
be better
show examples
to cover these
subjects
along with
the engineering main
subjects
. On the opposite side, the point of view of the second
group
is that studying many
subjects
in addition
to the main subject may distract the efforts and lead to low graduation score levels, so it will be better to focus and spend all energy in one path rather than splitting it into many paths, and during the practical life, they can study the required additional
subjects
if necessary. In my opinion, with the current market situation and high competition, the
first
group
will have more advantages in attracting employers and they will be ready to enter practical life faster than the second
group
.
Submitted by maowda1982 on

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content
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strategy
You provided a clear stance and elaborated on both points of view, which strengthened your task response.
structure
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organization
The logical flow of ideas and the organization of paragraphs contributed positively to your coherence and cohesion score.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Broaden
  • Perspectives
  • Specialize
  • Critical thinking
  • Problem-solving skills
  • Career success
  • Interdisciplinary connections
  • Structured path
  • Clear goals
  • Creativity
  • Innovation
  • Academic credibility
  • Recognition
  • Balance
  • Exploring
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