IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrest. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The pie chart shows the percentage of persons arrested in the five years ending 1994 and the bar chart shows the most recent reasons for arrest. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words.
#minutes #percentage #persons #five #years #bar #arrest #information #features #comparisons
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The pie charts reveal
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
information about
arresting
Replace the word
arrests
show examples
 which is represented by the proportion from 1989 to 1994 by
genders
Fix the agreement mistake
gender
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 the bar graph illustrates the most updated reasons
of arrested
Change preposition
for arrests
show examples
 in percentage which are
drink
Replace the word
drunk
show examples
 driving, public drinking, breach of
order
Add an article
the order
an order
show examples
, assault, theft, other reason and no answer.
Overall
Linking Words
,the majority of people
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
five years until 1994 who
have done
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
illegalities
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 found in masculine
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
32% which
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
 than
one fourth
Add a hyphen
one-fourth
show examples
 of all men,
while
Linking Words
 one in every ten of feminine (9%) did those things.
However
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
public drinking was the largest number of committed causes, which has
reported
Add a missing verb
been reported
show examples
 in both genders. Even though the offender was much less common than those who were not arrested, in
this
Linking Words
 case, men were 23% more likely to be searched. They usually drank in public areas and drove after had dunk, which
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 more than 25% in cases if compared with others.
While
Linking Words
 the maximum of the most recent
arrest
Fix the agreement mistake
arrests
show examples
 was
fond
Correct your spelling
found
show examples
 in women who had been drinking in public spaces more
frequent
Change the word
frequently
show examples
 up to 38% approximately, the assault and other
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 were only 19% and 18% respectively.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
However,
show examples
 there
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 a few offenders
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
both men and women had not revealed the information.
Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
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