IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast transport for cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Many people are of the opinion that it has become a necessity that the
government
Use synonyms
 should invest money in building new railway tracks in order to build express trains,
whereas
Linking Words
 others believe that the same money should be utilised to renovate the existing public
modes
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 of transportation for the convenience of the general public.
Although
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 the benefit of constructing new railway lines will improve the infrastructure of the
country
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,
but
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apply
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the modification of the existing public
transport
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 can be proved as a more efficient and cost-effective way of improving the
transport
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 of the
country
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. On the one hand, it is advised that the
government
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 should spend a large amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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national funds to build and develop new
transport
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 infrastructure. It can help introduce new and advanced technology into the
country
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 , which can resultantly provide a more convenient lifestyle to its citizens.
Moreover
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, the new trains will be equipped with engines that can minimize travel time and make it easier for the citizens to use public
transport
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. To cite an example, India inaugurated its first bullet train in 2020, which covers a distance of 1500km in just 3 hours, which earlier used to take more than 8 hours to travel, saving heavy travel time.
On the other hand
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, the opponents believe that the
government
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 should concentrate more on the upgradation of public
transport
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 which is already in existence. The different
modes
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 of
transport
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 including buses, cars, aeroplanes and existing trains go through regular wear and tear , which requires regular maintenance and cleaning.
This
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 can be an efficient way to save costs for the
country
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 by just maintaining the existing vehicles and keeping them in a better condition.
For instance
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, there are regular complaints posted about Air India Airlines on social media about the broken windows and poor hygiene standards in the aeroplanes, which leads to an unpleasant experience for its passengers.
Thus
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, investing money in renovating the aircraft can be a helpful way to reduce the cost of buying new aircraft for the
government
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, by just upgrading the equipment and maintaining them bi-monthly. In conclusion, I believe that on a global level, the
country
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 has to adapt to the fast-changing technological enhancements,
hence
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 adaptation of new and highly equipped
transport
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modes
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 can represent the
country
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 on a global level for its better infrastructure.
However
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, the
government
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 should
also
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 pay attention to maintaining those new and old transportation
modes
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 in order to ensure they
last
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 long and run effectively and efficiently.

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task achievement
Consider refining the introduction to clearly present the two opposing views and your opinion. This will enhance clarity and engagement.
coherence and cohesion
Use linking words or phrases more consistently to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs, which will improve coherence.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear argument and discusses both sides of the issue effectively.
task achievement
Specific examples, such as the bullet train in India, provide strong support for your main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic benefits
  • investing
  • construction
  • job creation
  • tourism
  • reduce travel time
  • congestion
  • carbon emissions
  • connectivity
  • regional development
  • critics
  • underfunded
  • infrastructure
  • sustainable
  • technology enhancements
  • real-time tracking
  • immediate benefits
  • balanced approach
What to do next:
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