In many parts of the world, children are given more freedom than in the past. Is this a possitive or a negetive development.

The world is changing
and
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, and
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as a result
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, the rules and norms of society are experiencing changes
when
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. When
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adults of today compare their own childhood with today's
children
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, they notice that new generations have more
freedom
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than they
have
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did
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. I believe
this
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situation has advantages and disadvantages, but its advantages outweigh its disadvantages. When
children
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have
freedom
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, they are more likely to develop essential life skills
such
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as making decisions
solving
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, solving
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problems and being an independent person.
In addition
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, having
Freedom
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gives
children
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a chance to do whatever they want
which
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, which
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leads to their talents
will be
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being
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discovered. To be more specific, it has been psychologically proven that
children
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who are allowed to do their
interest
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interests
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activities have a wide range of experience
which
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, which
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makes them mature-minded
and
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, and
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this
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fosters their self-confidence.
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Therefore
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Therefore,
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I argue
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freedom
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that freedom
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can have positive effects on
children
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's growth.
On the other hand
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, despite having numerous
benefits
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benefits,
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there are some drawbacks when
children
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have
freedom
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unrestrictedly. One potential disadvantage of unrestricted
freedom
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is poor decision-making. In fact,
children
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cannot distinguish between
wrong and right
Correct word order
right and wrong
show examples
, so parents should set boundaries for them.
For instance
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, they are exposed to violence and immorality
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such
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, such
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as addiction and drugs.
Hence
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,
They
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they
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should be protected by their parents
and
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, and
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the government have to establish rules to guide and support them.
To conclude
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, I hope
the
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to convey the
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opinion that when
children
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act
freely
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freely,
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they are prone to overcome obstacles that increase their growth.
Whereas
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this
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Freedom
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should be controlled and restricted to prevent harmful effects.

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Task response
State a clear view in the intro and keep it in all paragraphs.
Task response
Add more strong, specific examples to back each point.
Coherence
Make the plan clear: one idea per paragraph, with topic sentences.
Coherence
Use linking words to show the flow.
Language
Check grammar and punctuation to fix errors like spacing and capital letters.
content
The writer gives both good and bad sides.
content
There is a clear view that freedom should be controlled.
content
Some examples show real life worry.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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