SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT MUSIC, ART AND DRAMA ARE MORE IMPORTANT AS OTHER SCHOOL SUBJECTS, ESPECIALLY AT PRIMARY LEVEL. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

#people #music #art #drama #school #subjects #level

Schools provide the knowledge

that is

the foundation of the children's future.

Therefore

, it is argued among some groups that subjects related to arts should be given more importance than other syllables specifically at the early stages of learning. I completely agree with the above notion as studying these fields can nurture a

further

artist

as well as

develops

Correct subject-verb agreement

develop

show examples

much prowess.

Firstly

, music, art, and drama are somehow god-gifted talents,

however

, if nurtured in youngsters, it could lead to a successful career. Taking

this

into account, Van Gogh was born a painter,

although

he skipped going to school for many years as his study was mainly focused on sciences, he believed that if he

would have

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

learnt more techniques in childhood, he would not have wasted his time to reach the accomplishment. Certainly, a child's brain can be moulded

accordingly

thus

, it is beneficial to learn skills related to the interest.

As a result

, schools can cater for the talent of the young ones

instead

of focusing on other fields.

Secondly

, in the primary years of gaining ,knowledge these courses help to develop many abilities like creativity, a sense of competition and learning power.

Consequently

, it helps to boost brain growth through experience and cognitive skills.

For example

, kindergarten books have more pictures than words which eventually develops the capabilities to memorise them and it is easier for young minds to learn from what they see.

Hence

, music is good for listening ability, art is important to develop visual power and drama is not only a source of entertainment but

also

provides various lessons. In conclusion, it is true to believe that courses related to arts are more important than others since

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

helps

Correct subject-verb agreement

help

show examples

to nurture the talent in youth which is truly vital for a successful future.

Moreover

, these skills help in the growth of a child's brain.

Submitted by ramanpreetkaursetia on Mon Jun 12 2023

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18Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT MUSIC, ART AND DRAMA ARE MORE IMPORTANT AS OTHER SCHOOL SUBJECTS, ESPECIALLY AT PRIMARY LEVEL. DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem?

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think is an appropriate use of government money?

large coporation should provide sport and social facilities to community. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Atomic energy is becoming more and more popular energy source. However, some people argue that nuclear power puts life on the Earth to danger. What is your opinion?

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.