IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

You recently ordered a small item online but when it arrived it was unusable. Write a letter to the company that sold you the item: - give details about the order you made - explain what was wrong with the item -tell the company what you want them to do about it

#item #company #-tell
Dear Sir or Madam, I am writing to express my dissatisfaction with an item which I bought on an online platform of your shop. I am Judy Huang and purchased a black belt on the 4th of July.
However
, the
overall
 purchasing process was great until the item was delivered.
Firstly
, when I opened up the packaging, the tag label was not stuck to the belt, which was the first thing that I was confused about.
Secondly
, there was a strip on the belt buckle, and it seemed like a defective product.
However
, it was supposed to be well-packaged and provided as good as new.
Additionally
, there should be room for improvement
overall
 quality of the product. If you could send a replacement, it would be gratefully appreciated. Or if I could apply a complaint form to ask for a refund.
Besides
, it is advisable that your shop should consider how to get an improvement by levelling up the quality of the products
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and checking the whole purchasing process. I look forward to hearing from your prompt response. If you need
further
 information about the item, please tell me at any time. Your Faithful, Judy Huang
Submitted by aa0963178783 on

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task achievement
You have covered all the points required by the task effectively. However, make sure to provide more specific details regarding your complaint about the belt to create a stronger impact.
coherence cohesion
Try to ensure that each paragraph has a single clear focus to improve clarity and flow. For example, separating the issues with the item into different paragraphs could help.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is polite and formal, which is suitable for this type of correspondence.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing are both appropriate and well-executed.
coherence cohesion
The letter is generally well-structured and easy to follow, which helps to maintain the reader's attention.

The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

  • Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

  • Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

  • Best regards,
  • Warm wishes,

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • faulty
  • dissatisfied
  • rectify
  • refund
  • replacement
  • defective
  • customer service
  • resolve
  • item description
  • online transaction
  • discrepancy
  • compensation
  • order number
  • acknowledgement
  • customer satisfaction
  • prompt action
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