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Band 6.5

The bar chart below gives the information about the average number of visitors in 4 other museums in London from June to October

The bar chart below gives the information about the average number of visitors in 4 other museums in London from June to October
#bar #information #visitors #museums #london #june #october
The bar chart below gives
the
Correct article usage
apply
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information about the average
number
 of visitors
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 4 other museums in London from June to October.
Overall
, it can be seen that most people visit museums in August throughout the period.
However
, the National
Museum
 was the least opted
museum
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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visitors. As is shown in the first two months of the period, there
weren’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
wasn’t
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change
Correct article usage
a change
show examples
 in the proportion of people who visited
History
Correct article usage
the History
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museum
Correct your spelling
Museum
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,
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
museum
Correct your spelling
Museum
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 and
Science
Correct article usage
the Science
show examples
museum
Correct your spelling
Museum
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, roughly 40000,
while
 the
number
 of National
Museum
 was lower, over 200000. In August, the British
museum
Correct your spelling
Museum
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 hit a peak
number
 of individuals, at roughly 700000, followed by the figure for the History
museum
Correct your spelling
Museum
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 at exactly 600000.
While
 the figures for the Science
museum
Correct your spelling
Museum
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 were the same in July and August, the National
museum
Correct your spelling
Museum
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 observed a
dramatically
Change the adverb
dramatic
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 growth above 300000 in the same
month
. The figures for visitors to History and British museums declined noticeably
month
 by
month
 after,
while
 the rate for
Science
Correct article usage
the Science
show examples
museum
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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witnessed a slight rise to 500000 in September before remarkably dropping to 300000 in the
last
month
.
In addition
,
National
Correct article usage
the National
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museum's
Correct your spelling
Museum's
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 visitor
number
 was relatively static at around 20000 during the research months.
Submitted by joyce.ta213 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, museum, month with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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