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Band 6.5

The bar chart below gives the information about the average number of visitors in 4 other museums in London from June to October

The bar chart below gives the information about the average number of visitors in 4 other museums in London from June to October
#bar #information #visitors #museums #london #june #october
The bar chart below gives
the
Correct article usage
apply
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information about the average
number
 of visitors
in
Change preposition
to
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 4 other museums in London from June to October.
Overall
, it can be seen that most people visit museums in August throughout the period.
However
, the National
Museum
 was the least opted
museum
 by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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visitors. As is shown in the first two months of the period, there
weren’t
Correct subject-verb agreement
wasn’t
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change
Correct article usage
a change
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 in the proportion of people who visited
History
Correct article usage
the History
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museum
Correct your spelling
Museum
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,
British
Correct article usage
the British
show examples
museum
Correct your spelling
Museum
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 and
Science
Correct article usage
the Science
show examples
museum
Correct your spelling
Museum
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, roughly 40000,
while
 the
number
 of National
Museum
 was lower, over 200000. In August, the British
museum
Correct your spelling
Museum
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 hit a peak
number
 of individuals, at roughly 700000, followed by the figure for the History
museum
Correct your spelling
Museum
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 at exactly 600000.
While
 the figures for the Science
museum
Correct your spelling
Museum
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 were the same in July and August, the National
museum
Correct your spelling
Museum
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 observed a
dramatically
Change the adverb
dramatic
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 growth above 300000 in the same
month
. The figures for visitors to History and British museums declined noticeably
month
 by
month
 after,
while
 the rate for
Science
Correct article usage
the Science
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museum
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
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witnessed a slight rise to 500000 in September before remarkably dropping to 300000 in the
last
month
.
In addition
,
National
Correct article usage
the National
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museum's
Correct your spelling
Museum's
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 visitor
number
 was relatively static at around 20000 during the research months.
Submitted by joyce.ta213 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, museum, month with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "roughly" was used 2 times.
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