IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task

#computers #invention #years #minutes
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In recent years, a wide variety of our obligations have been done for us through computer systems. In most articles, the invention of
computers
Use synonyms
 is considered
as
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apply
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the most important one of the
last
Linking Words
 centuries. I absolutely agree with
this
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 claim. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will outline the astonishing impacts of
this
Linking Words
 invention on our lives. In the past, people used to work hard via different artefacts.
For instance
Linking Words
, communication was a huge issue for them.
Moreover
Linking Words
, we have seen some novel ways of being in touch in some prehistoric books.
However
Linking Words
, thanks to
computers
Use synonyms
, we can have a normal conversation with each other even if we live on two different sides of the globe. Nowadays, some new technologies, like Artificial Intelligence, have had revolutionary effects on our daily tasks. It turns out that Artificial Intelligence, or AI, could occupy some carriers in the future
due to
Linking Words
 its strength and accuracy of predictions.
Hence
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, some people believe they might lead to some catastrophic problems in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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term
Fix the agreement mistake
terms
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 of job satisfaction.
Therefore
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, countries try to restrict AI's power in some fields.
For example
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, it might be used for some military purposes that are not beneficial for
human
Correct article usage
the human
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 race.
On the other hand
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, AI can help us in medical fields or
being
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be
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 used for weather forecasting. All in all,
computers
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 can be used in various ways and it depends on us to utilize it in proper ways. I think we cannot live without the presence of
computers
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 and there is an undividable relation between us.
In addition
Linking Words
, learning new skills is an essential step to be done with these online resources and getting used to
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 could improve our range of information.
Submitted by aneizehbaz on

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task achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. While discussing the benefits of computers and AI, consider citing specific inventions or events that highlight their importance.
coherence cohesion
Ensure all main points are thoroughly supported. Consider adding more details to support the points about AI and its role in society.
introduction conclusion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the arguments well.
logical structure
Logical progression of ideas is evident throughout the essay, contributing to easy understanding.
supported main points
The word choice and sentence structure are varied, contributing to a natural flow of ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pivotal
  • revolutionizing
  • indispensable
  • accelerating
  • innovations
  • transformative
  • advancements
  • global connectivity
  • sustainability
  • technological dependence
  • counterpoint
  • long-term consequences
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