The shown Line graph below illustrates the condition of participation by club members to different courses.

The shown Line graph below illustrates the condition of participation by club members to different courses.
The Line graph gives information about the rate of becoming a member
to
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of
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3 kinds of clubs namely swimming, team sports and gym activities between 1995 and 2015. Units are measured in percentage.
Overall
, over two decades,though,in the initial
year
Add a comma
,year
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swimming has so many members but by
end
Correct article usage
the end
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of
Add an article
the period
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period
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,period
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it made up the least amount than others.
However
, membership for team sports and gym activities increased as compared to
previous
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the previous
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situation. We can see that membership
of
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in
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swimming was top of the hill in 1995 with around a half, followed by sharply decreasing until 2010, but
this
figure has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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remained stable over 5 years
with
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at
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about 15%. When it comes to the level of members of team sports and gym activities, both
of
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apply
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lines experienced
slightly
Correct article usage
a slightly
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rose from 1995 to 2010 which accounted for 40% and 25% respectively,but during the 5
years
Add a comma
,years
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these indicators have
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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faced slowly a decrease ( with about 31% and 24 respectively%).
Submitted by ieltsteaching0 on

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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • illustrates
  • condition
  • participation
  • club members
  • courses
  • line graph
  • levels
  • fluctuated
  • overall
  • number of participants
  • observed
  • dance course
  • initial
  • increase
  • end of the period
  • lowest
  • art course
  • declining
  • gradually
  • music course
  • witnessed
  • relatively stable
  • hovering
  • conclusion
  • demonstrates
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