In your view, what is the most important thing for governments to spend money on: education, health, transportation, or something else? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
Distributing tax-payer money is an incredibly difficult task that
divide
opinions. It divides opinions between people arguing that Change the verb form
divides
government
should fund mostly Correct article usage
the government
education
, while
others argue that most of the investment should be in health
or transportation. Not just that, nowadays, many people defend that the government should be minimal and most of these services should be offered mostly by the private sector.
In my view, the basis of a healthy society is education
. It is a common understanding that whenever a society is highly educated, other aspects of this
group will start thriving. The effect of highly educated countries
can be seen in history, like post-war Germany and South Korea after the 70’s. Both of these countries
had an astonishing increase in economical
development after they increased their Replace the word
economic
education
funding. Eventually, with this
economical
development, Replace the word
economic
an
improved Remove the article
apply
health
and transportation became a consequence.
While
education
should be prioritized, in some other countries
, especially the ones within emerging economy
, Fix the agreement mistake
economies
health
investment needs a high priority. Unfortunately many emerging countries
, or so called
Add a hyphen
so-called
third-word
Correct your spelling
third-world
countries
, have serious health
issues that tanks
Correct subject-verb agreement
tank
further
development. Furthermore
solving these basis
problems should be a priority before they can evolve in other aspects.
In conclusion, Replace the word
basic
unfortunately
there is not a secret recipe for how the government budget should be invested. It changes greatly depending Add a comma
unfortunately,
at
the Change preposition
on
country
reality. Despite Change noun form
country's
of
that, in most Change preposition
apply
of
Change preposition
apply
the
cases, Correct article usage
apply
education
and health
improvements always should be the main focus, because without these basic services
it is Add a comma
services,
mostly
impossible for a country to succeed.Rephrase
almost
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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a good level of coherence and cohesion, with clear logical structure, introduction and conclusion. However, some of the examples provided could have been more specific to support your points.
task achievement
You have provided a complete response to the task, with clear and comprehensive ideas. The relevant examples you have used effectively support your points, but more specific and varied examples could further strengthen your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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