Although countries with long average working hours are economically successful, this often has some negative social consequences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries working long
hours
is regarded
the
Change preposition
as the
show examples
norm. Economic success resulting from long
work
hours
comes at a price for families,
people’s
Correct word choice
and people’s
show examples
health and may contribute to higher unemployment. In my
opinion
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,opinion
show examples
the
long term
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long-term
show examples
consequences are
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
grave to ignore and an effort must be made to reduce long working
hours
. The most serious effect of working overtime constantly is putting
employee’s
Fix the agreement mistake
employees’
show examples
health at risk and causing illness, early retirement or even premature deaths. When working long
hours
it is more difficult to maintain a healthy
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
, like finding time to exercise and relax. An unhealthy lifestyle increases the risk of heart disease, diabetes and
stress related
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stress-related
show examples
illnesses. Being chronically overworked can
also
cause psychological problems, like burnout,
depressions
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depression
show examples
or even
suicides
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suicide
show examples
. All these health problems can cause high immaterial and material
cost
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costs
show examples
to
society
. Another problem is the workforce’s limited time for social contacts and families. Long
work
hours
do not make a very
family friendly
Add a hyphen
family-friendly
show examples
environment.
People
may find it hard to raise children and
work
.
In particular
, women may have to decide against working or having children. Because of long
work
hours
, some employees will not find the time for a relationship or family at all and remain single.
Consequently
,
birthrates
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birth rates
show examples
are likely to fall, which can
for example
be observed in Japan. A low birthrate might leave
a
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apply
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society
with an
aging
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ageing
show examples
population and
results
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result
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in many
hard to solve
Add a hyphen
hard-to-solve
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problems.
Lastly
, companies that require longer
work
hours
will employ
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
people
in total. It is obvious, that if
people
would only
work
regular
hours
more
people
would be employed
instead
of some
people
being overworked and
other
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others
show examples
unable to find
work
. The
society
has
pick
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picked
show examples
up the bill for most of the cost of unemployment and the consequences of
people
working too much. In conclusion, I believe that the advantages of long
work
hours
exists
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exist
show examples
only short-term. The negative effects are a burden to
society
. It would be beneficial if governments and companies understand the long-term cost and limit long
work
hours
to short-term overflow
work
.
Submitted by odod_aja on

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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