Some people think that music plays an inportant role in seciety. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both views and gives your opinion

#people #music #inportant #role #seciety #form #entertainment

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In the contemporary era,

Music

is considered a potential objective in

society

by many individuals. Others are of opposite opinions that it just provides entertaining benefits for the community.

Although

both hold merits, my supportive perspective would align with the former opinion. On the one hand,

Music

holds comparable features to other kinds of

entertainment

. In a fast-paced

society

, when stressfulness is witnessed in

public's

Correct article usage

the public's

show examples

working days, which can easily lead to many mental illnesses to human being. Perceiving the seriousness of these problems , many entertaining tools have been utilized to support them relieve their stress, including

music

While

music

provides a relaxing time and helps

population

Correct article usage

the population

show examples

flow with its tones, making it beneficial for mental health, Other types of

entertainment

encourage relaxing feelings with comparable advantages,

such

as reading, and playing video games... All of

this

is depended on the preference of individuals towards

entertainment

fields.

On the other hand

, A potential benefit of

Music

making it outstanding compared to other types of

entertainment

is conveying the meaning of the composers in a profound way.

Society

's vices are becoming concern problems around the globe and hard to find optimal solutions

due to

the dependence on individuals' behaviours. Taking advantage of the flow of

music

which people can easily follow, many composers have creatively supplemented the in-depth solutions to that predicaments. Leading to many people supporting that solution, making a profound effect on people's behaviours.

Therefore

, the removal of those vices in

society

will be effortlessly implemented. In conclusion,

while

music

holds the same value as other types of

entertainment

, the outstanding effects of melody can't be understated when the meaning can be profoundly conveyed and help

society

improve its current states

Submitted by nguyenmanhthi7111994 on Wed Jun 14 2023

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

283 words

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Some people think that music plays an inportant role in seciety. Others think it is simply a form of entertainment. Discuss both views and gives your opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Details of politicians’ private lives should not be published in newspapers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some students decide early in life to pursue vocational careers that involve cooking or baking. For them, it is better to study their chosen occupations in high school rather than regular subjects. To what extend do you are or disagree?

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

In some countries, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

To achieve personal happiness, the relationships we have with other people (friends, colleagues, family) are more essential than other thing. Issues like wealth and occupations take the second place. Write to support the claim.