Band-9 Samples: In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

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Advertising is the basic key to success in marketing business, but some

companies

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are enough smart to show the existing products as new ones, which is a positive

development

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and I will explain with reason and relevant examples in the following paragraphs.

Firstly

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, some

companies

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promote the new article in the market by adding extra or new features to the existing ones and reflecting it as the latest product in the marketplace. It is caused by two reasons, first attracting new customers to generate new revenue and earning the trust of previously loyal customers by re-sailing them so they can see the best

result

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, which helps the

companies

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to improve their feedback

as well as

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bringing up the best performance in the platform.

As a

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result

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, large corporations not only just high profits but

also

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name and fame. The biggest example of an iPhone CEO, who launched his first product in 2008 and

then

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added a new version every year in the same phone, which led to the generation of billions of dollars, but

also

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got recognition on a global level.

Secondly

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, It is constructive

development

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, because promoting an article creates job opportunities, and a plethora of people get hired by multinational

companies

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during the advertising, and some industries

also

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provide shelter and food.

As a

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result

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, it helps to mitigate the poverty level in the nation.

In addition

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this

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, large marketing

companies

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lead to economic growth in the province by paying high taxes to the governments

along with

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high profits and governments use those taxes for sustainable

development

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such

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as constructing roads and renovating public places to facilitate the community.

As a

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result

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, it becomes an ideal country for residents, that's why advertising a tool by adding new properties is a good

development

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. To synopsize, I pen down saying that, reselling the same gadget with new quality helps to generate new consumers and leads to a high economic ratio, that's why

it's

Correct your spelling

its

show examples

positive side should not be neglected.

hkaur14165Sat Jul 20 2024

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Grammatical Range and Accuracy

Ensure consistent verb tense usage and correct minor grammatical mistakes, such as 'enough smart' to 'smart enough' or 're-sailing' to 'reselling'.

Task Response

Clarify and refine the introduction. Instead of saying 'some companies are enough smart to show the existing products as new ones', it would be more impactful to say 'Many businesses smartly market their improved products as new, which I believe is a positive development'.

Coherence and Cohesion

Improve cohesion by connecting ideas better with linking phrases like 'Moreover' or 'In addition'. More seamless transitions will aid in making your argument flow logically.

Task Response

Expand on explanations in the body paragraphs to provide clear, comprehensive ideas. For instance, delve deeper into how these marketing tactics improve customer trust. Provide more real-world examples if possible.

Task Response

You have successfully addressed the task by discussing the reasons why companies might emphasize their product’s new features and providing a positive view of this trend.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a solid structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. You've used examples effectively to support your points, including the iPhone example.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

6.5

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

330 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
cutting-edge
state-of-the-art
modern
latest trends
competitive edge
rejuvenate
boost sales
consumer excitement
brand image
saturated market
distinguish
buzz
engagement
highlighting updates
attracting customers

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Band-9 Samples: In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Nowadays, more people are migrating to other countries than ever before. In order to become integrated into society in their adopted countries, immigrants should abandon their old ways and adapt to local customs and codes of behavior. Do you agree or disagree?

You have a problem with a recently hired employee in your workplace. Write a letter to the HR manager. In your letter: Describe the problem the new employee has caused Explain how other employees about the new employee’s conduct Say how you expect the HR manager to address the situation.

(Livia) Your manager has asked you to arrange a party for a colleague who is leaving the company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter – Suggest a suitable date and time for the party – Recommend a venue – Propose the food and entertainment options that should be available.

Some companies and organisations require thier employees to wear uniforms. What are advantages and disadvantage of this ?

In some countries, it is becoming increasingly common for people to follow a vegetarian diet. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?