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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below gives information about the percentage of the population living in urban areas in the world and in different continents.

The bar chart below gives information about the percentage of the population living in urban areas in the world and in different continents.
#bar #information #percentage #population #areas #world #continents
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The bar chart provides information regarding the
number
Use synonyms
 of
citizen
Change to a plural noun
citizens
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 who are living in the city
in
Change preposition
on
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 six different continents (world,
Africa
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, Asia, Europe, Latin
America
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,
North
Correct word choice
and North
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America
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) over an eighty-year period, between 1950 and 2030. Units are measured in
percent
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per cent
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, North
America
Use synonyms
 had the largest percentage of
population
Add an article
the population
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 in urban areas,
while
Linking Words
Africa
Use synonyms
 had the least
number
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. In all countries, the percentage increased gradually and it is forecasted to reach its peak in
the
Change the article
apply
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2030. With regards to the year 1950,
Africa
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 had the lowest
number
Use synonyms
 at only 15%,
whereas
Linking Words
 the highest percentage was North
America
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, which stood at more than 50%. As of 1950, the
number
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 of people in the mentioned countries went up constantly with the highest increment was
Africa
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 rose more than doubled, to just over 35%. Turning to the future,
in
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apply
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2030 is forecasted to have the same trend, in which all the countries will experience an upward trend. North
America
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 will touch the highest point at more than 80% of
population
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the population
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,
while
Linking Words
Africa
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 will get its highest
number
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, namely at just over 51%.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, africa, america with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "just over" was used 2 times.
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