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One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweight the disadvantages?

#consequences #care #people #life #expectancy #development #outweight
Nowadays, our
healthcare
system
 improves very quickly, modern technologies save our lives,
help
Correct word choice
and help
show examples
 us
ti
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 stay healthier.
However
, do the advantages of that outweigh the disadvantages? First of all, we should
condier
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consider
 the pros of
modern
Add an article
the modern
show examples
healthcare
system
. Our generation nowadays
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
big
Add an article
a big
show examples
 risk to be injured during some work, to
born
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bear
show examples
 with some diseases or even
get
Wrong verb form
getting
show examples
 them, because of
bad
Correct article usage
a bad
show examples
 lifestyle or age. So, modern
meidicine
Correct your spelling
medicine
 and technologies help us to be
helthier
Correct your spelling
healthier
,
to
Correct word choice
and to
show examples
 save
lives
Correct article usage
the lives
show examples
 of other
people
.
Due to
 improved medical
care
Add a comma
,care
show examples
 we have increased
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
life expectancy and live longer. Today there are not
much
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many
show examples
 diseases which we can't treat. Because of
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
healthcare
system
Add a comma
,system
show examples
 we can heal
wunds
Correct your spelling
wounds
, treat cancer and etc.
On the other hand
, there are some cons of that wonder. We already know that ordinary
people
 need to pay taxes for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
medical care in their country. Medical treatment for old
people
 and kids is free,
as a
result
Add the comma(s)
,result
show examples
 adults should pay for it more. And because of that, they work harder, damage their physical and mental health, and they go to a doctor. To add to
this
 I am very satisfied with modern medicine. In
Lithuania
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,Lithuania
show examples
docotors
Correct your spelling
doctors
doctor
 said that my grandmother would live obviously
4
Change preposition
for 4
show examples
months, because of cancer.
However
,
then
 she moved to Israel for treatment,
she
Correct word choice
and she
show examples
 became completely healthy
due to
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
show examples
healthcare
sysytem
Correct your spelling
system
 in their country.
To sum up
, there are advantages and disadvantages of
improved
Correct article usage
an improved
show examples
 medical care
system
.
Also
, it really improves our lives and
outweights
Correct your spelling
outweighs
 early mentioned disadvantages, because
people
 stay healthy and alive, but it leads to
closed
Correct article usage
a closed
show examples
 circle, where
people
 get treated and go to
hospital
Correct article usage
the hospital
show examples
 more
oftenly
Correct your spelling
often
.
Submitted by amur200617 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • medical advancements
  • workforce
  • wisdom
  • overpopulation
  • resource strain
  • aging population
  • healthcare costs
  • multigenerational
  • lifelong learning
  • retirement planning
  • pension systems
  • sustainable living
  • generational divide
  • personal growth
  • long-term goals
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