Although there has been a large increase in the numbers of women who go out to work, women continue to do a disproportionate amount of housework and childcare. What can be done to promote greater equality between men and women within the home?

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It is generally believed that the number of
women
Use synonyms
who tend to go outside and find a job is rapidly growing today, but they are still the
one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
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to be mostly responsible for taking care of the house. There are several solutions that should be done to promote
the
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apply
show examples
equality within the home. There is no doubt that the training process in any
companies
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company
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always
play
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plays
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an important role in raising
people
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people's
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awareness of
this
Linking Words
issue. The immediate result it produces is helping them understand that one individual’s success and company’s achievement depend on what they are doing, not
genders
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gender
show examples
. The most
amiliar
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familiar
example
for
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of
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this
Linking Words
is Apple – one of the
well known
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well-known
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technology companies in the world which focuses on
the
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apply
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ethical issues when they usually hold a lot of relevant campaigns at the workplace, proving the fact that
women
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and
men
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deserve to be recognized by the same positions and opportunities.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the training programs do not work effectively enough to persuade anyone, especially when a person has a strong belief in their traditions and culture for a long time. It seems quite clear that a training program can partly tackle
this
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problem, but the hidden consequence can be seen
due to
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people’s conservative perspectives. Another special consideration
in
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, in this case,
show examples
this
Linking Words
case is that every organization should hold some outdoor workshops and invite male staff as guests. Part of the explanation lies in the fact that these activities give them a chance to deeply understand their
women
Use synonyms
by joining some cooking challenges or becoming a multi-tasker, doing a lot of household chores within
limited
Add an article
a limited
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duration. A better example of
this
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can be best provided by some small
bussinesses
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businesses
in the US where
men
Use synonyms
claimed
Wrong verb form
claim
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that they always find it difficult to do the same things as
women
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. Meanwhile, a majority of
men
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still refuse to join these types of
workshop
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workshops
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with lots of meanings behind
because
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them because
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from
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, from
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their views, workshops sometimes should be relaxing and healing. Probably, there is some truth in the idea that outdoor activities
seems
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seem
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possible to
addresss
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address
the problem but the fact is that some
men
Use synonyms
do not try to deal with it. From what has been discussed above, we may draw the conclusion that the companies should take
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
action to solve
this
Linking Words
problem by improving their training programs and outdoor activities to reduce some disadvantages at the moment despite their benefits.
Submitted by sinh.ielts on

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task achievement
Make sure to directly address the main topic in the introduction and conclude your essay by summarizing the key points and your stance effectively. Your introduction and conclusion need to be more focused on the question rather than immediately jumping to solutions.
coherence cohesion
Work on clear paragraphing and organization of ideas. Each paragraph should start with a clear topic sentence followed by a coherent expansion of the topic. Make sure the paragraphs are well connected with logical connectors.
task achievement
Provide clear and direct answers to the essay question with relevant examples. Each point you propose should have a strong argument accompanied by evidence or an illustrative example.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of cohesive devices and topic-specific vocabulary to create a smoother narrative and to demonstrate a good command of the language. Be mindful of repetition and strive for lexical variety.
task achievement
Relevance of examples is as important as including them. Make sure the examples cited are specific, relevant, and reinforce your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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