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Writing Samples
Band 7

Young people who commit serious crimes such as robbery or a violent attack should be punished in the same way as adults. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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There is no doubt that the puberty phase is a very critical stage, and there in the
last
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 few years a lot of
crimes
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 had been committed by young
people
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 which is a risky indication, some
people
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 opine that those youth
people
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 who have done these
crimes
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 should be punished in the same way as adults,
while
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 others opine the contrary, as they clime they should be treated it in a different way and they have to take in their consideration their age and situation. In my opinion, I agree with the second statement that stands with the concept of not treating the young person who has done violence to the older criminal. In
this
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 essay, I would like to provide my point of view and elaborate more on
this
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 by giving examples to support my argument.
To begin
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 with, in the teenage phase various changes happen on many levels because it is a new stage in the person's life, and one of the most critical changes is the (hormones), at
this
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 stage, the teenager feels higher energy and If they did not know how to handle it, it will end up with many problems
such
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 as robbery or violent attack.
On the other hand
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, the government should set up a program for young
people
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 who have done any of those
crimes
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, which should inclouds work programs and workshops to provide instructions on to how deal with these changes and teach them new skills.
to sum up
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, teenagers in
this
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 society are the government's responsibility, they have to take care of them and set a youth clubs to prevent them from any kind of
crimes
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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