Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both school and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Many

children

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nowadays have an unhealthy

lifestyle

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due to

Linking Words

their sedentary

routine

Fix the agreement mistake

routines

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and unhealthy eating

habits

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This

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trend can lead to various health issues which can have

long term

Add a hyphen

long-term

show examples

repercussions.

Hence

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, both schools and

parents

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must take responsibility for addressing

this

Linking Words

issue, as healthy

habits

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must start at home and be reinforced in educational settings. For me, I completely agree with

this

Linking Words

statement. First of all,

parents

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play a crucial role in determining their child's

lifestyle

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That is

Linking Words

, they are the primary caregivers and role models who should ensure a healthy living environment. They can encourage healthy

habits

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like physical activity, balanced diets, and adequate sleep.

However

Linking Words

, neglecting

this

Linking Words

responsibility can lead to

children

Use synonyms

forming unhealthy

habits

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and various health issues which can have

long term

Add a hyphen

long-term

show examples

repercussions.

For instance

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

must monitor their child's nutrition by providing healthy meals and limiting junk food.

Additionally

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

can take them for outdoor activities on weekends. By doing so,

parents

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can set a positive example and equip their

children

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with life-long healthy

habits

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. It should

also

Linking Words

be stated that educational institutes can influence

children

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's unhealthy

habits

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In other words

Linking Words

, schools can promote a healthy

lifestyle

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with regular sports competitions, teamwork activities and attractive lessons educating pupils on the importance of healthy

habits

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to help them make better choices.

For example

Linking Words

, during breaks, the school organizes exercise to improve health

everyday

Replace the word

every day

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As a consequence

Linking Words

student

Fix the agreement mistake

students

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improve

your

Correct pronoun usage

their

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ability to do everyday activities that help them study better.

To sum up

Linking Words

, the unhealthy

lifestyle

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of many

children

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today is a growing concern that requires

joint

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a joint

show examples

effort from both schools and

parents

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. In my opinion, they both hold equal responsibility in ensuring

children

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's physical and mental

wellbeing

Correct your spelling

well-being

show examples

. It is only by working together that we can create a brighter, healthier future for our

children

Use synonyms

jakelong16091994

Jun 15, 2023

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both school and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

some people think that television is useful for education, while others say that it is only useful for entertainment. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that some type of criminals should not go to prison. Instead, they should do unpaid work in the community. To what extent do we agree?

Art is considered an important part of a society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects?

Some countries spend a lot of money preparing competitors in major sports competition such as Olympic Games and football World Cup etc. It is better to spend money encouraging children take up sports at a young age. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some cities, public parks and open spaces are being changed into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruits and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?