The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.

The table below shows the numbers of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before and the year after it was refurbished. The charts show the result of surveys asking visitors how satisfied they were with their visit, during the same two periods.
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The table depicts the number of guests to Ashdown Museum; meanwhile, the chart portrays the result of surveys of visitors' satisfaction during the year before and the year after it was remodelled.
Overall
Linking Words
, the total of visitors to Ashdown Museum during the year before the renovation was the lowest, and after refurbishment, the number increased.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
who felt very satisfaction and satisfaction rose after renewing.
To begin
Linking Words
with, the total of guests who visited the Ashdown Museum before refurbishment was 74,000 and climbed to 92,000 after
remodelled
Wrong verb form
remodelling
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, after the renovation,
people
Use synonyms
who felt very satisfied increased by 15
people
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, before renewed, the number was just 15. The guest who felt satisfied increased to 40 compared to before remodelled at just 30 guests.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
who felt dissatisfied showed up to 15 visitors. The survey after refurbishment for very dissatisfied responses fell to 5, and no response remained the same as before renewing.
Submitted by ieltscuns2022 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • refurbishment
  • visitor statistics
  • satisfaction survey
  • seasonal trends
  • demographics
  • benchmarking
  • feedback mechanisms
  • amenities
  • exhibitions
  • customer experience
  • turnaround
  • user engagement
  • footfall
  • improvements
  • disparities
  • perception
  • enhancements
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